Stop Wasting Your Time On Guys Who Can’t (Or Won’t) Give You What You Need

A redheaded woman bundled in a black sweater and black boots, standing on a rock next to a lake
Ivan Karasev / Unsplash

I don’t think anything hurts quite like caring for someone who doesn’t feel the same way about you. You find yourself wondering what you did or said to cause someone to suddenly disappear. Yes, we may be a little sensitive, but the reality is that not everyone cares like they claim to. On top of that, not everyone shows they care in the way we need them to. When someone can’t live up to the expectations you have, it’s usually not your fault. It took me three years and a lot of tears to realize that. It comes down to the fact that somebody’s inability to care about me like they claim, says way more about them and not as much about myself. I am far from perfect, so I will never expect perfection but I will always expect respect.

It is important that we keep in mind that one person’s way of showing they care could not mean a thing to anybody else and so it does get lost in translation. Although it’s not intentionally, it still damages relationships without the intention of doing so. I know personally from the last couple years, I have been surrounded by men who were all talk. I literally took compliments like crazy, but when it came down to it, their actions never matched. I would sit there confused and hurt because if someone took the time to tell me I mean something to them, why wouldn’t they respond if I text them or follow through when they say they will do something?

You see, people can tell you all day long how much they care about you, but without actions, words do not mean shit. Once you accept and understand it, you stop allowing other people to hurt you as much. In a sense, you take back a piece of independence you didn’t know was missing and that my friend is the beginning of a beautiful transformation. The best thing is just to be honest with yourself. Trying to force someone to care is only going to be frustrating and exhausting for you. Let them go. A lot of times, you have to fall apart to fall back together. So I hope you find peace in knowing that whatever is meant to be will find a way.

I know for me personally, I don’t trust people very easily, especially men. So when a man tells me he cares about me, chances are I don’t believe him. If I do believe a guy, I expect him to live up to his words. Which I know it doesn’t seem like a lot to ask, but when you’re saying things they don’t mean, you quickly realize by their actions that you are in fact not as important as they tell you. Take this with dignity and move on. You are worthy and someone else will see this. Don’t spend your precious time being sad over someone who doesn’t even deserve you. Whatever is meant to be will find a way so don’t waste your time forcing a relationship to be something it is not. Whatever you are looking for is looking for you too. So enjoy the journey, it’s just as important as the destination.

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