This Is The Truth About Fear

A young woman in a scarf smiling when looking off into the city from a balcony
Eli DeFaria / Unsplash

Fear is something we learn to live with; whether it is fear of a conversation, fear of a choice, fear of hurt, or fear of consequences. It’s there and it’s so very real. The trick with fear is not to live in the shadows of it but to look it straight in the eyes and do it anyways. The fears we don’t face become our limits.

I think if we knew and understood exactly what we are capable of, we wouldn’t live in such fear. Looking back on my life I realize that the biggest life changing moments for me was when I did the things that scared me the most. For example, four years ago I took a risk and participated in a plus size pageant. Here I was, a girl who was told that I’d be “so much prettier” if I just lost weight, participating in a beauty pageant. It was against all beauty stereotypes and I was terrified. I wanted to prove that I didn’t need to lose weight to appreciate myself and how I looked. I wanted to show people that you can be confident at any size. I faced my fear of judgment and went for it.

I know a lot of people in including myself live with a fear of letting people down. So much so, we tend to put our happiness on the back burner to ensure we are making other people happy. The thing is, you have one person you need to please and that is yourself. If you fear that your choices will cause someone to not want to be in your life, let them go.

Your happiness is your number one priority so start acting like it.

Obviously, I speak within reason. If you’re making decisions that put yourself or someone else in danger, you need to rethink it. But if you’re doing what is best for yourself then screw what other people have to say and do what makes you happiest.

There are plenty more things that we fear on a daily basis. I personally think the fear of rejection is one we can all relate to. Nobody wants to be rejected for valid reasoning. However, if I have learned anything, it’s that fear is temporary but regret is forever. I fell in love once. I hid it for as long as possible until one day I felt like I was going to explode. I thought every day about telling him how I felt but I was terrified. One day, for approximately 10 minutes I had more guts than I had ever before. I called him on the spot after already ending a two-hour phone conversation and just blurted out my feelings. Although it was the beginning of the end for us, I would always wonder what would have happened if I told him my true feelings. Plus, I would have subjected myself to seeing him date other girls and why would you ever want to break your own heart? To this day, I do wish him the very best and although I am sad we are no longer in each other’s life, he was a huge lesson.

You see, I came to the realization that he and any other guy will never be able to buy love like this. My love is special and it will take a special man to appreciate it. I don’t need to fear rejection because if you have a life-changing opportunity in front of your face, you take it. End of story. Anybody who tells you that you are a game changer but doesn’t treat you like one isn’t worth your time. Plus when it’s all said and done, whatever is meant to be will be. I believe that with all of my soul.

Parts of our lives will always be filled with hardships and some sort of fear. It’s up to you to find peace and understanding in knowing that the fears we don’t face become our limits. When things get hard, which I promise they will do so, remember who you are and what you are made of. You are worthy and capable and the more you face your fears, the more you will learn about yourself. Ultimately, you’ll learn to not let fear stop you from living the life you want. TC mark

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