I hate dating. More than I can ever put into words. It’s awkward and so many emotions come into play. You like someone but you don’t know where they stand so you play it off like they don’t mean much. Sometimes you finally get the guts to say something and it goes exactly how you want or more times than not, it blows up in your face. Whatever it may be, it’s not easy.
The last couple years have been really rough relationship wise. I’ve fallen in love, had my heart broken. I moved on from him and met another person I cared very deeply for. It’s been one rollercoaster of a year.
I, like any other woman, find certain people that I can confide in with different topics. Now let me introduce you to Desiree; my absolutely gorgeous, funny, and adorable coworker. She’s one of those ladies you look at and you know she’s not only outwardly beautiful, but she is one hell of a human being. She’s a mom of two and married to her high school sweetheart and she is hands down one of the best listeners I’ve ever met.
Recently we talked about my single status and how I’ve always been terrified of relationships. Sometimes we talk about how I am finally feeling ready to find someone. She asked me recently what has stopped me in the past and I explained about my fear of getting hurt. We talked about how I tend to find myself in a position where I find someone I like but the timing is never right. I get the usual compliment of being an amazing woman with a lot to offer. Then comes the reasoning as to why they can’t be what I want them to be:
1. I don’t deserve you.
2. I’m just going through a lot.
3. Anything work-related
4. I need to be selfish right now
5. Bad timing
That’s when she said it. She looked at me and said, “So you have these guys who recognize exactly how special and amazing you are. They appreciate everything about you. However, they are willing to risk losing a one and a million shot because they don’t want to commit. Anybody who tells you that, truly doesn’t care about you on the level they say. Because if you have a life-changing opportunity in front of your face, you take it. End of story. If they don’t, they are not worth your time.”
Words have never hit me harder than they did that moment. I realized how right she was. Words are deceiving but actions are not. Never waste your time being sad over someone who does not deserve it. I promise you, one day, someone is going to walk into your life and everyone else will just be history.