The Difficult Truth About Almost Relationships

girl with some tea
Alisa Anton

First thing is first, you need to know that you are not alone. We have all been there. Head over heels for someone who just wasn’t sure how they felt. In the meantime, you are completely infatuated with them and the possibilities at hand. The butterflies in your stomach are real and the sexual tension is there. In some cases, maybe the sex is phenomenal and that’s what keeps you hooked. Whatever it may be, you have trouble seeing the relationship for what it actually is versus what you want it to be.

It’s a relationship of unknowns. It’s a game of control that’s played and typically one of the two end up hurt.  I’ll admit that it doesn’t help that society tells us that as women it’s not okay to come off being too forward because we could scare off potential dates or come off as desperate. It is your job to stand up for yourself and demand the things you deserve. Never feel sorry for voicing your needs. I personally have never been one for society and its opinions. So hold your middle finger up and do you.

If an “almost relationship” has taught me anything, it’s that I hold control over my own happiness.  You see, when it comes to these kinds of relationships, we never know exactly where we stand. So automatically we are afraid that speaking up will ruin what could be. I know for me personally, the question of “what if” prevented me from walking away from my situation for a long time. He was a great guy but he just didn’t know what he wanted and when it came down to it, his words rarely matched his actions.

Which brings me to my main point, life is all about one thing, actions. We can talk about things until we are running out of oxygen, but the words someone says will never mean as much as what someone does. So if you’re stuck in a situation where you don’t know which version of a person is real, or if you’re trying to make a relationship work but it’s struggling, I recommend looking at their actions. Do they initiate contact with you? Do they only try to see you when it’s convenient for them? Do they expect you to be around when they need you but are never around when you need them?  It is so easy to make excuses for someone, especially when you really believe in the potential of what can be.

However, you need to know that their actions tell you more than their words will ever say.

Now I have to be real with you on something. Yes, we were strung along. Yes, things were said and follow through didn’t really exist.

But people only treat us how we allow them to.

Time and time again we tend to put other’s happiness and comfort above our own. The person to blame for this is ourselves. If we demanded the things we need and want and didn’t allow for people to take advantage of our loving heart, we wouldn’t have to go through half the unnecessary drama we do.

The heart that is worthy of you won’t play these games because when someone is truly interested in you, they will make sure you know where they stand. They will pursue you because they don’t want you to question where they stand and what they want. The dating games are only used when they need to keep you as an option but they aren’t wanting to fully commit. I know, as well as you, that you deserve more than being an option. Do not allow yourself to put someone else before your own happiness.

If you don’t put yourself first, nobody else will. So find that worth and never let it go.

You are worth more than an almost.

You’re worth a shout from a rooftop. You’re worth goodnight texts and surprise dates. You are worth a definitive answer. Even if it may not be the answer you want, thank them. They could have strung you along. They could have taken advantage of your feelings. Instead, they know someone out there is going to be exactly what you need. They know that they won’t be the one when it’s all said and done that makes you as happy as you deserve. Thank them because in the long run, they’re allowing you to find someone who will be everything you need and they’re not wasting your time pretending there is a chance they will be. TC mark

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Image Credit: Alisa Anton