It’s the usual story. Girl meets boy. Girl falls for boy. Boy is not ready for girl. We’ve all been there and to say it sucks, is an understatement.
You hurt with him and you hurt without him. You genuinely cannot imagine a life that doesn’t include him but deep down you know that you deserve to be treated better.
The thought of letting go of what could be feels as though you are giving up on everything you want. We tell ourselves that we only need to endure a little more; that the big moment of clarity for him is right around the corner.
Well, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but that “aha” moment likely will never come. If it does, it’s probably going to be after you let go and decide to move on. You are currently trying to force a connection that isn’t meant to be. It is best to realize now that you are absolutely wasting your time and you are giving your attention to somebody who doesn’t fully appreciate you or know your worth.
I know you are terrified but I promise you that the feeling of relief and freedom after letting go will outweigh any negativity or sadness you are currently feeling.
I’m not going to lie to you. It will get worse before it gets better. If your situation is anything like what I have experienced, you will have strong days and then you will have days that you are constantly on the verge of tears.
Everything will remind you of him and you will be certain you made the biggest mistake of your life. Stay determined because once you get through the first week, it becomes easier and you will feel all the wounds start to heal.
The key is to acknowledge all the emotions during this first initial phase. If you want to be mad, be mad. If you want to cry, give yourself a few minutes to cry. However, I promise you that one morning soon after, you will wake up and the hurt will not be as paralyzing and your brain won’t be as overwhelmed.
You will have a strange overwhelming feeling of being content with the new space in your heart. This is the start of letting go.
The hard days will eventually become fewer and far between. Just keep yourself busy when you feel them creeping up on you. It will keep your mind occupied and your social life active. You’ll rekindle friendships that may have drifted for a while. You will find that you have more free time to explore and learn; which will in return help you to grow. This is the time you need to spend on you. Be selfish with yourself. You can’t truly love another person until you learn to love yourself. So do exactly that, love who you are, flaws and all.
Then one day, it could be weeks or months from now, you will realize just how better off you really are. You will have experienced life without all the unnecessary hurt that he had caused you. You will have seen all the red flags you chose to ignore and probably realized that he wasn’t nearly as charming as you had once thought. You will think about how at one point in your life, you thought you would never be okay without him.
But there you are. Happy and fulfilled and he is no longer involved. It is likely that you will be the happiest you have ever been. Something beautiful will have grown from one of the darkest parts of your life. That is the beauty of letting go.