We live in a society that tells us daily how we need to improve ourselves if we want to be accepted. It starts when we are young and the pressure to be socially accepted never really goes away. If we are not worried about who we are dating, we are worried about our weight, what we are wearing or what we are doing with our life.
The anxiety ridden worries are never ending. Your twenties are supposed to be an awesome time in your life, so why can’t we seem to embrace them? The answer to that question will vary for all of us, but here are 5 insecurities you definitely deserve to let go of if you truly want to enjoy your twenties.
You’re not good enough.
Always call bullshit on this one. You are pretty enough, thin enough, and smart enough. If anyone says differently, well, show them the door and don’t look back. You, my fearless friend, are perfect as you are. Instead of worrying about what you don’t like about yourself, find the qualities you love and start embracing them. Once you learn to love the good qualities, the ones you don’t like won’t seem to be as big of a deal.
You are still single.
Being single says nothing negative about who you are as a person. Being someone’s significant other isn’t your only goal in life and if you choose to pursue other things instead of love, then good for you. You are a person of many talents and you do not deserve to have somebody make you feel like any less of a person. Never allow your self-worth to be decided by another person’s acceptance of you.
You should know what you are doing with your life by now.
We grow up constantly comparing ourselves to everybody else. We all feel a pressure to know what it is that we want to do with our life. A lot of our friends and family go straight into college with an idea of how their life and career will go. However, sometimes you are going to choose something that seems to be a great fit and later on you will discover that it’s not for you. There is absolutely nothing wrong with finding a new path.
Every path you choose is going to teaching you things and help you grow as a person. As soon as you feel you have done all that you’ve needed to do where you are, change it. Your life is your own journey and it’s going to be unlike anybody else’s. So figure out your goals and pursue them and don’t question the timing. Your happy ending is different than anybody else, so learn what you can and enjoy the ride.
I should/shouldn’t be having sex.
Sex can be such a taboo subject. Everybody has their opinion and they typically like to make it known. For a long time, I had a lot of pressure around me to not sleep with anyone until I was married. There is absolutely nothing wrong with waiting and it’s very commendable. As many people as I had telling me not to sleep with anyone, I had more telling me I was being ‘ridiculous’.
They would tell me that I shouldn’t limit myself to having just one sexual partner for my whole life. I struggled with trying to figure out what I wanted to do and I finally decided to listen to my mind and my body. If you’re somebody who wants to explore themselves sexually, then by all means, go right ahead. It’s nobody’s business but your own. The only thing I feel responsible to say, is to make sure you are smart about it. Protect yourself. If you are somebody who wants to wait and find someone they will be with forever, please do so. Just don’t let society make you feel bad about what you want. You make up the rules with your body.
I am a bad person for outgrowing some of my friendships.
Friendships are very important for a happy and healthy life. Your friends will be who you go to when times get hard. They will help shape you into the person you become. However, sometimes even the closest of friends outgrow each other. Part of growing up and changing is allowing your social circle to change. It won’t always be easy. There will be times when you have to let people go because you no longer see eye to eye.
Sometimes, you realize you are spread too thin and you have to decide where your focus is. It’s never fun but always necessary. Don’t be afraid to let people go.