Value self-respect over anything else. This is something that I have desperately come to realize in my twenties. Most of us spend our lives being disrespected either in friendships or relationships and we consistently wonder why no one can see how great we are.
We fail to realize how contradictory this belief system is. How can we expect others to respect us, when we don’t?
Respecting yourself isn’t just about taking care of your appearance or lighting a candle and doing your nails like social media often portrays. Most of the time it is riddled with discomfort and involves stepping out of your comfort zone.
Sure, these are great ways to take care of yourself, but genuine self-care comes from respecting your thoughts, boundaries and emotions. It comes from realizing that no one is forcing you to be in that toxic relationship and, that essentially you do not need to take shit from anyone. Whoever makes you feel that you need to take their bs, is thriving on the power and energy you give them. Don’t let someone selfishly deplete your energy for their own causes, you need to be selfish with your energy in order to truly respect yourself.
This means saying no to plans sometimes to stay home and work on your goals.
It means not always being the most liked person in the room, but most importantly being liked by yourself.
It’s about drawing boundaries when people cross them and, not letting anyone or anything talk you into settling for less than you deserve. We get one life and, if you’re allowing below average treatment from anyone in your life then you are doing a disservice to yourself.
Don’t trick yourself into believing that you are doing this because you are a selfless person, trust me I have been there. But, treating yourself worse than everyone else around you is not doing you any favors. Instead it gets people into the pattern of mistreating you.
Listen I know everything I’m saying is easier said than done. You don’t wake up one day and, just love yourself wholly. Contrary to popular belief it is a process and you need to be open to the idea that self-care involves loving yourself a little every day. Even on the days we really don’t want to. We are our minds, if you don’t train it you will always lose to it.