One of the hardest pills to swallow is understanding that there are very few things that are in your control. For someone that has always wanted to control every situation, this lesson was one of the most difficult to make peace with and apply in daily life.
Sometimes there are things in life that you want so bad – a job, a person, a certain outcome — that we completely forget that we have zero control over what happens. All the anxiety that you build up trying to make something play out almost never actually happens according to plan. These are the fantasies and stories that we create in our minds to escape living in the real world. Of course, the idea of simply letting things be is extremely terrifying for control freaks like me. Each situation needs to be planned out and expectations are set so high that disappointment is almost inevitable.
Even though our core instincts constantly try to plan each one of our steps, these internal mechanisms detach us from the reality of our situations to a certain level and instead make it harder for us to live our day to day life in the present moment. I hope that you can learn to make peace with the things that are meant to stay in your life and to gracefully let go of all the opportunities, relationships and situations that have outgrown you and free yourself up for the things that are meant for you.
Make peace with the fact that no matter how much you try to gain control of a circumstance, the outcome will never be what your wildest imaginations predict. But that does not have to be a bad thing. There is a difference between what you want and what you need. The unpredictability of life can drive you crazy but can also bring you to some of your happiest moments in life. Be strong enough to open space for what’s meant for you instead of chasing what has already passed. It’s what makes life exciting, since you never really know when another door will open.
Practice patience and being mindful in the moment. The problems that you are facing will always pass. Never doubt the resilience of human beings—we are able to get over just anything. No problem is ever too large, but we allow the boundaries of our mind to stop us from achieving what we really want.
If you master the art of taking every unpleasant situation as a lesson that has made you a better person, you will be more at peace with things that don’t go as planned. If you look back at all the hardest moments of your life, there is one common element: you always get over it.
In moments of doubt, remind yourself that there is a higher purpose to everything that happens to you in your life. The lessons you acquire as you maneuver through these struggles are invaluable, even if they seem like the be all end all right now. The timing of your life is never wrong.