This is to remind you about the time when he told you that he loved you so much but you saw him flirting with other girls. You even caught him exchanging messages with an old flame he never told you about. You even discovered that he rain-checked on you just to hang out with a new girl that he met during their boys’ night out. You confronted him yet he gave you excuses instead of apologies. You asked him for explanations but he blamed you for finding out.
Remember the day when he broke up with you because he wanted to find his purpose and fix his life? It was confusing and painful for you, but you agreed to let go. You even wished him the best until you found out that he was in a new relationship with the girl you were told to not worry about. You were left alone while he was out there expressing familiar sweet sentences and promises to somebody else.
I hope you remember the night when he called you, out of the blue, and confessed how much he missed you. He casually brought up all the memories you created together as if nothing happened, as if he did not hurt you. You told him you miss him too, only to find out that he is on the rocks with the girl he chose over you.
Do you remember when you promised yourself that you would forget him, would start to move on and that you did not deserve a guy like him? It cost you your dignity, peace of mind, your job, and some people you thought would defend you behind your back but did not. You were all over the place, struggling to heal, and almost on the edge of giving up.
Do you remember all the sweat, the tears, the blood, and the pain you endured just so you could reach the finish line of heartbreak?
Because I hope you do.
I hope you remember all those episodes of why he is exactly not the one for you. I hope you remember all those chapters that narrated how he lied to you. I hope you remember all those seasons of how he was slowly destroying you.
Please remember the countless times he just stared at your face while you cried out of exasperation from his stubbornness and deception.
Instead of comfort, he gave you cold shoulders. Instead of hugs, he gave you hate. Instead of love, he taught you how to loathe yourself.
Because the truth is, he is not worthy of a minute, or even a second, in that beautiful mind of yours. Because the things that are more deserving of your time, care, and attention are the things that make you feel genuinely whole, safe and loved — the things that make you feel like home.
So if you still think about the boy who deeply broke your heart, I hope you remember the things he did to you than the empty words like “I love you.”