You are throwing yourself into your own deathbed.
Because the man you are so in love with is not the man he claims to be.
Because by the time you will have him, he’s not gonna be a changed man.
Because a man of his kind doesn’t change, he just worsens as he age.
And that is what I have just experienced and discovered.
I was wrong. I hope it is not too late.
By the time you will have him, he will shower you an overwhelming love and affection. He’ll give you gifts and take you to an amazing kind of euphoria. He will tell you that you’re different from all the girls he dated before. He will tell you that you are the one. You are so affectionate. You understand him. You care for him. You appreciate him. You love him. He loves you. And you will believe him. Because that is what he clearly wants from you: to get you hooked.
By the time you will have him, he will seem lost and broken. He will tell you his story of all the bad luck in his past relationship/s – how his past lover/s hurt him, how his past lover/s cheated on him, how his past lover/s didn’t give him enough time and affection. He will tell you his winning sob stories while blaming life and other people. He will tell you he is no good for someone as wonderful as you, that there are tons of more deserving guys out there. You will feel sad for him. You will feel pity. He seemed to be a great guy for him to go through all those loneliness and unfortunate events.You want to fix him. You want to help him. You want to heal him. Because that is what you are. Because that is what he wants you to feel and to do: empathize.
By the time you will have him, you will get curious about the past relationship/s he had. You will ask him what happened, why they hurt him, why a good-looking guy with an amazing personality deserves that kind of pain. He will tell you how crazy, slutty, bitchy, obsessed, and bitter his past girlfriends were. You will hate them for hurting the guy that you love. You will tell him that they don’t deserve a guy like him. You will promise to love him genuinely and sincerely. Because that is just what you are. Because that is what he wants to hear from you and that is what kind of story he wants to groom in you: love.
Now that you arrived at this point where he knows he has you, heart and mind, be ready to face the nightmare behind his mask.
Be ready to feel discarded, ignored, and taken for granted.
Be ready to face his unusual mood swings, intimidating stance, his yelling voice whenever you share your thoughts and feelings.
Be ready to be called psycho, crazy, and needy whenever you ask something that goes against him.
Be ready to hear his excuses, canceled plans, his lies.
Be ready when he starts to hide his phone and to change his password.
Be ready when you sleep beside him but you still feel alone.
Be more ready when he’s suddenly sweet and affectionate after being cold because at night, he wants it.
Be ready to get blamed for being human and being sensitive and for having feelings whenever you ask him what’s wrong.
Be ready to cry every night asking yourself what you did wrong, questioning your own sanity, and thinking everything is your fault.
To the girl he’s going to love after me, be ready for what I’m about to say: he didn’t love you. It isn’t going to be love.
Because he doesn’t know how to love. Because he is not capable of real love.
To the girl he’s going to love after me, I don’t know if I already know you or you are someone new.
I was wrong. You are not going to be lucky. Please be strong.