One of the most beautiful things about second chances is that you learn to forgive.
I will not say that every person you date you should give a second chance to, because in reality, some are just with us for the wrong reasons. But there are instances where the love is greater than the mistake or the pain. Where the love becomes the foundation of your decisions. Sometimes our heart and our mind will contradict these decisions, and this process is a tough battle. What I have learned is that when you open up your heart to love and to the world, forgiveness will be the first thing you will have to encounter before all else.
You will learn that we are all just humans trying to find our way through life. And that you and other people will choose the wrong relationships or make the wrong decisions and make mistakes. Nobody’s perfect. There are instances where the mistake is something love can conquer. Of course, there are times where you must forgive, move on, and forget, but this article is not about forgetting.
The ones we love the most will hurt us the most in different ways. It is inevitable to love and not get hurt or say hurtful things to each other, because that’s how you know it’s real—it hurts when you guys are fighting or arguing. When suddenly it hurts because you’re not having coffee together or not saying goodnight or you see something they like and you can’t show it to them because you guys are not in good terms. It hurts to hear their favorite songs playing on the radio, and you’re singing on your own, wishing they were next to you.
Suddenly, you ask yourself what you were fighting for in the first place. You beat yourself up because of all the wrong things you wish you didn’t say. Regret kicks in as you wonder why you would ever let her slip away. But what I learned in my experiences is that what I was fighting for was for my ego. I was fighting to be heard because I wanted her to fill my own insecurities. She was fighting for time—time to figure out what she wanted, not just romantically, but in her life. Time to find her way out of her own darkness.
We were both fighting to be heard, only to end up in silence.
Luckily, second chances exist if we let them. Because at the end of the day, I know how to build myself from the ground up and how to mend my own insecurities. Meanwhile, she’s strong enough to find her light and find her way around the world.
The beauty of second chances is that no matter how independent you both are, you realize you’re better together.
Though I can be on my own and she can too, allowing time apart gave me more of a reason to stay. To stay for another chance at love. To stay to not be heard, but to listen. Not to assume, but to understand. Not to be selfish and stroke our own egos, but to give love selflessly to one another.
You see, the beauty of second chances is that it opens up your heart to a love that’s real, because a love that forgives is a love that stays.