Wait. Breathe. Close your eyes. Open your heart. Tell yourself it’s okay to lose a battle, but not the war. You’ll have days like this where the heaviness of your heart calls for nothing, but closed eyes and instrumental songs. You’ll have love like this. One you’ll never see coming. She was the catalyst. The patience you never thought you had. She was the kind that settled your moon to the millions of stars that wanted your attention. She was the one you’d do anything to see for one day… one second. Wait… you thought she was the one.
Until he came in, some dating site you’ve never been. A smile so full you forgot how it felt to laugh. He knew your jokes before you could finish them. He knew your thoughts somehow; he knew how to hold you. You felt together, then didn’t you? He cradled you and you settled into his arms like a gentle rose. He’s the one. So, you let him make his way in. Even if in your thoughts you still had flashes of her. Then you let her go… and gave yourself to him and blossomed like a flower. You had no idea. He had no idea. This meant letting somebody into the most vulnerable parts of you. It meant giving yourself away and wanting him to be a part of yours.
Slow down. I need a moment.
Slow down. I need some time to get to know you.
If there’s one thing that self-love taught me is that…
You deserve more. More than the patience that withered with her. More than the love she couldn’t give.
You deserve more than the way he made his way in leaving to complicate your emotions even more.
You deserve time. Time for them to earn you. Time for you to know them. (Maybe he was right after all).
You deserve love. The kind you give to others. Unconditional. Faithful. And true. You deserve truth in intentions and appreciation for the person that you are.
You are not less just because you let him make his way or because you let her break your heart.
You are more than just the decisions that you make.
So, let your heart open up… fully. Truthfully.
But this time, for you.