You are alone way too often. Go look at what’s out there, don’t you want to experience that feeling of learning someone? That feeling of unknowingly laughing in harmony with a stranger.
There is someone you’ve never met, who’s heading your way, keen on finding you.
I know you’ve been hurt so many times, and I know there were people you’ve grown madly in love with that just couldn’t stay. Those people crippled your definition of what genuine love and happiness is and now you’re hiding, you’re back in your comfort zone, your wall is up and you’ve given up. That’s not life, please allow yourself to try again but this time do it right and when you decide to go back on your journey; please don’t forget yourself there.
If you go out in the world looking for someone to fill that void, many will come dressed up as all the things you need, want, and crave. They will become your best addiction. I beg you, do not fold, do not settle for a quick fix, do not trivialize your happiness for the sake of compromise. No matter how long it takes you, no matter how impossible it will become to find someone that’s completely in tune with you, do not let it get to you. I know you are your worst enemy.
I’ve watched you criticize yourself way too hard, do you believe you’re no good, do you think you’re spoiled milk? And then you conjecture why you’re wrong for love, but that’s not so, that’s not true. In all your weird and flawed ways, your crooked smile and your lonely mind; never think less of your existence. Do not give anyone that power to liquidate your existence. If you do not believe in any religion, if these men made values are not sufficient, if the social norms that society created on what love should be does not move you, than in your own way create and have hope in the universe because you matter, you deserve that.
Lover, there is someone out there waiting, search and thinking of you. They’ve never seen your face, never been in your space, but they’ve felt your emotions.
At night when you lay your head down to cry; you’re leaving those tear stains on the pillow of the person that belongs to you. Out of those 50,000-70,000 thoughts you think of per day a few of them give meaning to the stranger that’s meant for you.
When you go through all your filth, struggle, trial and tribulation, when you’ve watched people come in and out of your life, when you’ve ran out of band-aids for your heart, remedies to get over pain and intense loneliness, when life just didn’t make sense any-more but some way, some how you still picked yourself up.
When you go through all that and can still allow yourself to feel love because you’ve found self-love; only then will you find the one that’s made for you and when that happens, when they arrive you will experience love so deep, your bones will feel it.
This will not be love, like the ocean and shore; constantly reaching and running back. This will be the kind of love that was specially made for you, the kind of love that only your strength can handle. This love will be infinity to the millionth degree, constantly reaching and holding tight. This will be the kind of love that makes the ocean and shore jealous.
Be patient with yourself.