This Time, I’m Letting Myself Fall Into You

It’s never easy to let someone in. It’s always a gamble, a game of chance. The only thing you do is take someone at their word. 

But what no ever tells you is how hard that is. To just believe that someone comes walking into your life, not to teach you another lesson. But to be there and stay.

And you were the same for a little while. 

My walls were up and so were yours. We talked and then fell apart, keeping a safe distance until one of us broke down.

But then, all of the sudden, something changed. I wasn’t scared anymore.

When I thought about you, I smiled. I told you about my day and you listened. I spent time letting you in.

So, I guess what I’m really trying to say, after all this time and all of these moments of me standing right on the edge, I want this. 

And most importantly, I want you. 

I know it’s not going to be easy. It’s going to be really hard. It’s never going to be perfect but that’s okay. Neither of us are really good at being anything less than flawed.

I showed you my scars and for the first time in a long time, you returned the same favor.

And there was only love in your eyes. No judgment. No fear. You said you were going to be there and you were. Without any questions, without hesitations or hang-ups.

We both know that whatever this is, it doesn’t come around very often. Most people spend so much time hiding from what their own hearts are saying, they never give anyone a  fighting chance.

That’s what I’m giving to you in every way I know how. To be the one who catches me instead of leaving me to pick up the pieces. 

What I’m really trying to say is that if you’re game, then so am I. I know it might not work out. But for the first time, I’m not expecting failure or disappointment or more wasted time. You made me hopeful again. And for me, right now, that’s enough to take a chance.

This time I’m getting a running start and I’m letting myself fall into you. My only hope is that you’ll be right there to catch me.