I know that it takes time to build trust. I know that we all move at our own pace, and sometimes really good things take time. To build and to grow and to change into something good and beautiful.
I know that you come with baggage. At this point, I think that we all do, even if we hate to admit it to ourselves.
But one thing I flat out refuse to do for you is to fix you. Is to try and make you into the person I want and need. Because to me, there’s nothing broken about you. Not one little piece that I would alter or change.
I can’t change what happened in the past, before me. I can’t take away your hurt just because I want to. But believe me when I say that time heals all wounds. But you can’t expect someone to love you unconditionally when you don’t even like the person staring back at you yet.
I know that you want to make me happy. I know that deep down, you probably could. But I’m not going to stand by and watch you push yourself further and further down. That would only break me.
I can say all of this because I’ve been in your shoes, in the same spot over and over again. But you can’t let life crush you. More importantly, you cannot let one person define how you value yourself. Trust me, I am the queen of that. But in the end, it never really pays off.
It only pushes people away. And that’s what’s happening right now, with us.
I know that it takes work, keeping someone around, to keep fighting for what you really want. But I’m here to remind you that the only way I’m going anywhere is if you force me out.
I don’t want to fight with you about all the good I see in you because if there was nothing there, I wouldn’t be around in the first place.
I’m not a believer in wasting time. Too many time before, my heart has misread signals, has given little pieces away to people who are already busy looking the other way.
I know I’ll be okay whatever happens. I can brave the storm. I’ve always been a fighter and this, with you, is no different. I can take it or leave, though I would prefer to stay.
It’s been a while getting to know you, to think about your smile when I close my eyes. To remember your laugh and feel my heart get a little lighter. It’s you that do all those things. No one else.
And after all this time, the ball is in your court.
The move is yours to make. I can’t force your hand. No one can. But I can tell you one thing for certain. I’m ready and I’m willing to do this thing for real. No matter how messy it gets, I’m okay with it. As long as you start to care about yourself as much as I do, I think that everything will be just fine.