You Might Not Understand What You Lost, But Trust Me, You Will

A woman faces away toward a tall green field and buildings in Windsor
Hermes Rivera / Unsplash

There’s a lot to be said about giving people chances. Giving someone who doesn’t deserve your time or attention more than enough.

That’s what I did for you. I gave you so much time to figure out what you wanted. I gave you space. I kept myself out of your life hoping that one day soon, you would come back to me.

But that was the problem. You never have any intention of being with me. You never had one, single good intention towards me and I had to learn that the hard way.

I learned it by waiting for you. By making excuses for you. By hoping that you would pull through and watching every time that you didn’t.

Life is all about lessons. The good and the bad. But for once, I want to teach you something that’s more than a  hard pill to swallow.

You might not understand it now, but sooner or later, you’re going to realize that you messed up. Big time. You took something honest and real, something that most people spend their whole lives searching for in one another, and you blew it.

All those things you said and did, there was nothing behind them. They were just empty words. And who knows, maybe after all this time, your heart is just as hallow.

But the thing is, I’m done giving you more than you know what to do with. I’m done giving you anything at all. I’m not perfect and I’ve never claimed to be. But one thing I know for sure, my heart is so much bigger and better and stronger than yours. And I know that after this downfall, after the tragic let down, I’m going to get back up.

And you.

Well, who knows what you’ll do. But I promise you, sooner or later you’ll think of me and know what it feels like to regret something you were so close to having. Something that you should have held close instead of pushing away.

I can’t change what happened. And more importantly, I can’t change you. But I want you to know that I’m going to be just fine. Soon, you’ll be a memory, a fleeting thought, just something small. A speed bump or a roadblock.

As much as I wanted you to be lasting, you proved that you’re not worthy of that much. I can’t change that and now that it’s all said and done, I know that I wouldn’t want too. Not even if I could. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Josie Griffith is a blogger and lifestyle writer living in Baltimore, Maryland.

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