The Truth Is, You Only Loved That I Loved You

Woman in ripped jeans and a skull shirt stretches her arms
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I’m not one to jump to conclusions. To make assumptions without any warning or explanation. What I’m really trying to say is that most of the time, I take things with a grain of salt.

It’s safer that way. You don’t get hurt. There is less and less to be disappointed about. But what no one ever tells you is that you don’t fall in love that way either.

And I was okay with that. Until you came along and changed everything.

I thought I was just waiting for you. This whole time, after all the heartbreak, after all the sleepless nights, you were the one all along.

I couldn’t have been more wrong.

I thought that if I let you in if I let my walls fall down around me, you would be there. That when you said things, you meant them. It just took me a little while to see the truth.

You just wanted to string me along. To make me feel comfortable like I could trust you. Like you were worthy of my heart.

But you only used up the best parts of me. You were selfish with my love and for that, I want you to know something.

This all falls off you. I don’t want you to say sorry. I don’t want you to change. In fact, for the first time, I don’t even want closure. I just want you to stay out of my life and get away from my heart.

I tried for so long to make you understand, and all you ever did was tear me down. Make me feel like an idiot for feeling what I did for you. For wanting something more.

I’m a fighter but I’m tired.

You have nothing left for me and I have nothing left for you. When it comes down to it, all you really did was make me a fool for you. You didn’t want to fall in love with me. You only wanted me to love you. To build you up. To make you feel good enough to move onto someone else.

And that hurt. But what hurts more is knowing that no matter what happens next, all I ever was to you was a warm body. A shoulder to lean on when you felt like it. It was never about me. It was only ever about you.

That might have made sense to you at the time, but let me remind you of one important thing. It takes two people to fall in love, not just one. I can’t keep loving you by myself. And you can’t keep expecting me to be there for the long haul when you already have one foot out the door. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Josie Griffith is a blogger and lifestyle writer living in Baltimore, Maryland.

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