I know that when all is said and done, that you never meant to hurt me. I know that it probably hurt you too when it ended.
But when it comes down to it, there’s one thing that I mean. There’s one thing that I want you to know before I finally tell you goodbye.
More than anything, I wanted to be the one that you fought the hardest for. I wanted you to be my forever. I wanted to never give up on you.
But it all fell apart.
And we both moved on or at least tried to. I tried to find someone new, someone, that maybe reminded me of you. Because you left me with this emptiness in my chest that I knew only your voice could fill.
But honestly, you look happier with her.
And I mean that.
I’m not trying to be polite, and I’m sure as hell not trying to save face.
Because I know that no one is ever going to love you like I did. But I pray she won’t hurt you like I know I have and that you won’t break her like you broke me.
Because you deserve to be happy. You really do. You can believe me or not. You can take what I say with a grain of salt, you can try and push me away again.
You were the love of my life and I have never stopped wanting what’s best for you.
And if she’s that, then I have no room to stand in the way of that. And I would never want to.
I just wanted to let you know that even if I can’t be that for you, even if I can’t be the reason that your heart beats a little louder, it doesn’t mean that I don’t want you to have all the best things.
And who knows. Maybe one day, I’ll feel the way that you do. Maybe one day I’ll meet someone who makes me forget all the things we had. Who makes me want to make new memories instead of living in the past.
Every time I play it over in my head, I wish I could have said something to make you stay. To make you understand just how much I needed you. Just how much I wanted to know you. And just how much I would have given anything to have you be there.
But now that I know the truth, I just want you to know that I don’t blame you.
You were my missing piece, I just wasn’t yours.
And there’s nothing wrong with that, it’s just what life had planned for us.
People get their hearts broken every day, for all kinds of reasons. And this is no different.
And even though I keep trying to find the right words to say, all I really wanted to tell you is that I forgive you. And that I want you to live your life the right way, with the right person.
I’m not going to say that I’m going to stick around forever.
But if she ever lets you down, if she ever throws away your life, just know that I would be happier to take her place than to lose you forever.
I know it sounds a little weak and maybe a little messy, but that’s what we always were.
We were messy, but it was real.
So just remember this:
I hate to give you up, but I also hate to think of you not giving someone everything because you’re worried about my feelings.
I’ll be okay, I promise.
It just might take a little time.