'Never Have I Ever' The End

The 10 Funniest Quotes From ‘Never Have I Ever’ Season 4

The fourth and final season of ‘Never Have I Ever’ is chock-full of hilarious lines. Here are our top ten favorite zingers.

From creators Mindy Kaling and Lang Fisher, Never Have I Ever perfectly balances heart and humor to create a relatable series about adolescence. From striving to get into college to breaking out of your comfort zone and exploring your sexuality, high school is an awkward time that’s ripe for comedy. And, the fourth and final season of the hit sitcom doesn’t disappoint when it comes to clever one-liners. 

Spoiler Warning for Season 4 of Never Have I Ever

“I think I’m bad at sex.  I had no idea what to do with my legs or arms. I was like the inflatable balloon man at a tire store.” — Devi, Episode 1: “…Lost My Virginity” 

After cashing in on her “one free boink” with her nemesis-turned-lover Ben Gross, Devi is doubting her competency in the bedroom. Considering the foolish genius told her he needed to “hit the hay” after the act and offered to call her an Uber, her insecurity is justified. However, the comparison to the “inflatable balloon man” instantly conjures quite the mental image, showing that, even in her darkest moments, Devi finds humor. 

“Are you guys fighting or am I misunderstanding your body posture and you’re about to sing a cappella? —Fabiola, Episode 3: “..Liked a Bad Boy” 

Fabiola walks in on Devi and Eleanor fighting over the season’s new hottie (portrayed by Michael Cimino), after they discover he made out with both of them mere moments apart. Fabiola throws out this line so nonchalantly, showing her concern for her friends — but also just how well she understands Eleanor’s unpredictable performance tendencies. 

“Besties before testes.” — Fabiola, Episode 3: “…Liked a Bad Boy” 

Fabiola really kills it with this one-liner, reinventing the old-hat lines like “gals before pals” or “chicks before dicks.” It’s cutesy and original. It also feels much more 21st century and was the perfect light-hearted yet sincere response to Eleanor and Devi choosing to put their friendship before some boy. 

“The only D you’re jonesing for is Ethan’s.” — Eleanor, Episode 3: “…Liked a Bad Boy.”

After Eleanor and Devi commit to backing off Ethan, they find each other hanging outside in the parking lot — lingering where they know he would be. They call each other out, and Devi quickly fabricates a lame response — that she’s just catching some much-needed Vitamin D. Eleanor calls her out on this blatantly lame excuse with this epic one-liner. It’s quick. It’s punchy. It’s bold. It’s oh-so-Eleanor. 

“Kamala, you had a lot of Valium that day. You think you might be mistaken?” — Dr. Nalini, Episode 5: “…Been to New Jersey” 

Kamala is fully convinced that her grandmother’s new boyfriend is a con man, trying to scam her out of the money she earned from investing in Apple back in its early stages. When under the influence of Valium — following her LASIK eye surgery — she hears him talking to a woman whose voice she’s never heard. When she gets off the couch to check things out, she’s gone. Was she there at all? Dr. Nalini wonders. Was it just some drug-induced confusion, or is Kamala’s Nancy Drew-ing justified? 

This line is a perfect Dr. Nalini line, as it’s both chuckle-inducing and character-defining. She’s a doctor first, so she’ll evidently jump to the most logical conclusion. 

“Have you seen Devi when she gets upset? She makes the Hulk look like Kermit.” — Fabiola, Episode 5: “…Been to New Jersey” 

Fabiola’s mom convinces her to apply to Princeton University, which has been Devi’s dream school since she sat in a booster seat. Such elite institutions are unlikely to accept more than one applicant from an everyday public school, so Fabiola knows this threatens Devi’s aspirations. Thus, when the guidance counselor tells Fabiola that she must tell her best friend, she says this. And, in all transparency, it’s quite accurate. We love Devi, but she’s definitely a little high-strung and self-serving.

“What’s that word that’s like the opposite of sabotage?” — Devi, Episode 8: “…Set My Mom Up”

Devi’s heart may be in the right place, but she’s not above a little tinkering and toiling to get what she wants. She doesn’t always think about how her actions will impact others. Thus, when she asks what the opposite of sabotage is, it’s both on-point with who her character is, yet it also signifies the growth she is experiencing in the final season. She asks Fabiola and Eleanor this when she realizes she wants to help her mom land the new guy she’s crushing on — who happens to be the father of her school nemesis. Okay, Devi. We see you putting your needs second!

“You think I’m some Jennifer Coolidge character?” — Dr. Nalini, Episode 8: “…Set My Mom Up” 

Devi tries to convince her mom to text the guy she’s interested in to join her family for Nirmala’s birthday celebration. Yet, Nalini notes that it’s far too late at night to be sending a text to a man she barely knows. It’s 9:00 pm — might as well be the witching hour for Nalini. This quote perfectly captures the current zeitgeist — and justified cultural obsession with Jennifer Coolidge — while putting Dr. Nalini’s endearing old-school approach to dating (and life in general) on display. 

“I’ll put you in that suitcase mafia style.” — Dr. Nalini, Episode 10: “…Said Goodbye” 

Devi’s mom has been nagging her to pack her suitcase for Princeton, but she hasn’t done it yet and it’s getting very close to travel time. With Nalini’s wedding happening the very same weekend they’re heading across the country, Devi needs to get her priorities in order. (Devi can’t pack because she’s a bit emotionally stunted and afraid, but that’s a separate story). 

Nalini has had enough of Devi’s procrastination and utters this line while using her hands to imitate a chopping motion. It’s obviously an innocent threat, but also one that shows how annoyed she has grown with Devi’s inaction. 

“Wouldn’t be mad If you equally distributed my freshman 15 between my boobs and my ass.” — Devi, Episode 10: “…Said Goodbye”

While praying to the Gods and thanking them for all they have done for her to create a memorable high school experience, Devi slips this line in for good measure. Devi has matured, but at the end of the day, she’s still the old Devi we fell in love with in season one. 


About the author

Josh Lezmi

Josh is an entertainment writer and editor at Thought Catalog.