Arguing in public is one of the Terrible Relationship Olympics’ most dynamic events. Whether it takes place on the street (summer games) or inside at a crowded gathering (winter games) it always draws a throng of spectators. That’s kind of the point.
When confronted with a problem, you choose the simplest most straightforward solution. You’re never afraid of snapping off a door’s handle by torqueing it too hard, or spattering a person’s brains too far by assaulting them with too heavy a bludgeoning weapon.
Your fish are boring. Of course they are beautiful, but how long can I really watch something beautiful move back and forth in silence.
I’m a sucker for women with a really dark sense of humor. It’s so charming! Plus, I know she’ll be fun to have around at funerals.
It has transitioned from a specific set of cultural touchstones (dating back to jazz cats) to something more like “a skinny person who is also a douchebag” or “someone who has an iPhone and/ or listens to music made after 1999.”
It’s basically sequel to that one about the cotton gin. There’s more Eli Whitney, if you’re into that. I’m still kind of weirded out by how his inventions helped slavery stay operational for years, and we’re just expected to let that go.
God is dead. And you’re complaining you’re “neurotic to the bone?” The only way for you to transcend these difficulties it to overcome the hurdles between you and your goals. Force your will upon the world or be destroyed by it! There is no other option.
The sense of excitement and ephemeral nature of his travel visa make The European Tourist a magnet for women who have trouble committing and/ or are able to overlook ponytails. His smoky, pretty good English, steams up tracks like, “Language Barrier,” and “It’s So, How You Say, I Love You.”
Make too much physical contact. Engage in tense, unflinching eye contact. Lick your lips. There’s a fine line between “flirty” and “creepy.” Cross that line.
This philosophy is mostly for when you need to find things. Like your keys. Say you’re ready to go out for a real rager of a night, but you can’t find the keys to your apartment/mom’s basement. You’re freaking out because your ride/bus is right around the corner. Take a deep breath, dude, and remember, It’s Always the Last Place You Look.