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The Old And The Phoneless

If our crew planned to meet up at Burger King at 2, and the line was too long, we waited for everyone to show up before we could move on to an alternate destination. If a friend wasn’t home, and you wanted to get in touch with him… sorry. It took a phone-tree style effort to track him down and relay the simplest message.

Help Kickstart My Sex Tape

This is my first sex tape, so there will be a strict “no heckling” policy. I don’t want you ruining my big break. If you think it’s not going well, keep it to yourself.

Wanted: Part-Time Hype Man

I’ve considered therapy and meditation, two techniques that have benefitted numerous friends, but neither seems to offer quite the boost I’m seeking. What I really need, it turns out, is a hype man.

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