Love And Communication In The Age Of Anxiety

Going into my soon to be mid-thirties as a single guy, I’ve started to realize a lot. I’ve had my “time” enjoying the single life and I’ve definitely pushed away possibly life-altering people and chances for true happiness. You can say all you want that “everything happens for a reason” and yada yada. I try not to spend my life regretting my past decisions because anything wrong that happened was a lesson learned. However, when you see your friends and everyone else finding their true love and starting families, it gets very depressing. But the most depressing part about this whole thing is the dating life nowadays.

Personally, and I’m sure most can relate, I don’t take many chances on people anymore, due to the times I’ve been hurt or the affection I have showed was not reciprocated. So now, when I do find someone I would like to pursue, there are two schools of thought: either keep your guard up or show them who you are and what you want so there are no mixed feelings or blurred lines. I choose to prefer the latter, which in my case the relationship usually always ends up cut short before it even starts. We all have our stories and I do not believe in comparing scars. Pain is measured by the beholder, not the observer.

That being said, I just wish people noticed how much others give to them, compared to what they give back. Quick example: I can get very busy, but a pet peeve of mine is seeing that I have texts that I have not responded to. It’s rude. Someone wanted to talk to me or reach out to me for something. If I’m busy at the moment, I will make a point to say that I’m busy and will text later. Or if I do text later and not right away, I’ll say sorry and explain why I texted so late after they did. I don’t think we should have to adapt to the times and change how we feel or treat others. A big factor also is that anxiety as a whole has become so common in everyone. And I am willing to bet that it is 75% more intense because of the digital dating scene.

Perhaps I was meant for a simpler time when love was accepted and not pushed away in fear of actually experiencing something worthwhile. But alas, I exist in 2017, in a world where being yourself can stop you from getting what you want. A world where we have to jump through hoops and obstacles in order to put off a confident, careless demeanor.

I once heard that our only goal in the physical world is to be the best we can be, to ourselves and to others. Keep that in mind next time someone is truly just being nice to you. And maybe, return the favor.