1. “Yeah. Sure.”
Because the year is 2014 and some people (both gay and straight) still don’t believe that bisexuality exists. One guy I went on a date with actually got angry with me. He told me that people like me who refuse to “fully come out” are hurting the LGBT cause. Seriously? What do you think the B in LGBT stands for? Banana?
2. “So are you ever really satisfied? I mean like, if you were with me, wouldn’t you like… crave being with a (man/woman) sometimes?”
Newsflash — bisexuals are not vampires. Contrary to popular belief, bisexuals can enter a building without spoken consent from its owner, and garlic doesn’t really affect anything other than our breath. We don’t crave anything. If you’re a woman and I’m in a (happy) relationship with you, I will be satisfied. Why is this concept so hard for some people to understand?
3. “That’s cool, but I could never date a bisexual. I’d be too scared that they would cheat on me.”
This one is similar to the above, and equally as infuriating. Bisexuals are not any more likely to cheat on you than anyone else. Are we capable of cheating on you? Absolutely. But know who else can cheat on you? A straight man. A gay man. A lesbian. A straight woman. A hobbit. A Klingon. A Na’vi. Literally anyone.
4. “I don’t judge!”
Um, thanks? I mean, don’t get me wrong, I appreciate it, but I would hope someone wouldn’t judge me for something I have absolutely no control over.
5. “So like, when was the last time you were with a (guy/girl)?
This one doesn’t seem like a big deal on the surface, but it’s the hidden implication that bothers me. Why does it matter? Are you auditing me to make sure I pass the bisexuality test? I could have exclusively dated men or women up until this point and still be bisexual. Plus, it’s probably our first or second date, and my sexual history is quite frankly none of your business at this point.
6. “You’re just being greedy.”
Yep. You caught me. Now be a dear and pay for these drinks, and buy me a new car while you’re at it, won’t you? Thanks.
7. “There’s no such thing as bisexual. That’s just something invented in the 90’s so they could sell more hair products.”
Okay, nobody has actually ever said this to me. But I really hope somebody does because it’s a quote from 30 Rock and anybody who quotes 30 Rock is somebody I probably want to date (yes, regardless of their gender).