It’s so easy for us to default into focusing on our image and what others see of us because our minds have adjusted to the use of social media.
We see others gaining more followers, more likes, and more friends based off of what we see in their posts—an edited image of who they really are, a highlight of their best assets and a concealing of any flaws they may have.
We care so much about whether or not someone likes us, because we can actually see the numbers add up in front of our eyes.
Not only that, but it’s a natural instinct to want others to accept us. Whether or not it’s through the use of a screen, we still feel compelled to care what others think—of our looks, our personalities, our success.
So, we try hard to gain as much affection from the people around us and question what aspects of ourselves we need to change in order for that to happen.
The problem with this is that we forget to ask whether or not we even like these other people or whether or not we even like ourselves when we are with them. We start doing everything in our power to get others to like us, rather than working towards just liking ourselves.
In the end, you are the one faced with the person you have worked so hard to be. This is why we need to learn to stop giving a damn about what other people think.
Not giving a damn about what other people think means to give a damn what you think. It means acknowledging your own feelings and placing worth on them, instead of wondering so much about what others feel—which you can never quite determine anyway.
It means recognizing your own greatness, a greatness that others may not see, and accepting it for what it is. We all have a place in this world and if you feel as if others are judging you and making you feel less than what you deserve, then that is not your place and you need to leave.
In order to stop giving a damn what other people think, you have to refocus your goals and come to the conclusion that not everyone is going to fit into your plan towards success. Are they helping you grow? Are they influencing you to be a better person? Or, do they just point out your insecurities and make you feel bad about yourself?
Your life shouldn’t be about pleasing others. It should be about finding your purpose in life and following it. Which, in a way, will actually cause those around you to feel quite uncomfortable—especially those who don’t quite know what they’re doing themselves. You will chase them away with your self-awareness and passion because they are not strong enough to admit they haven’t found theirs. Don’t let their opinions pull you down to their level.
By being yourself, instead of what others expect of you, you attract what’s really meant for you—not only in relationships but in life. You’ll start to see that your cubicle is suddenly too confining of a space or the image you’ve been painting of yourself is actually constructed by hands that are not yours.
If anything, when you don’t give a damn about what others think, you start to attract those who have also found their way and that have decided to no longer put energy into pleasing others. You will work together on the important things—saving the world, creating an enterprise, falling in love, expanding your knowledge, taking care of yourself.
When you focus on these goals, the judgmental voices of others seem to quiet down, because the voice in your head becomes stronger and more powerful.
You suddenly know what it is you are doing and why, causing the opinions of others not to even matter.
There’s more of you that the world has to see and you can’t let anyone take that away from you. Whether you’re goofy or wild or too different, this is actually what the world needs.
Don’t belittle yourself. Don’t tell yourself to calm down. Don’t be tamed. You are made of all these unique experiences, collective thoughts overtime, a meeting of atoms—each one bonded specifically to make up the individual that you are. Can you imagine trying to force yourself to be like another? It won’t work. It will start retracting, repelling all that’s meant for you away because every ounce of your body will know you are not exposing the reality of who you are. And that feeling is far worse than having someone dislike you.
You have a purpose—one that is far greater than making others like you. Once you realize this, it makes it much easier to not give a damn what they think.