The first step to breaking your own heart, is not realizing you have the power to do so.
It’s lacking the awareness that you, yourself, are actually in control of not only preventing your heart from breaking, but in healing it as well.
Breaking your own heart is blaming others for the shattered pieces falling to the pit of your stomach and yet, still searching for someone that will put it back together.
You lack responsibility. You say, “Here’s my heart, fix it for me,” because you just can’t look at it any longer. Those shattered pieces become a thousand-piece puzzle that you no longer have the patience for.
Breaking your own heart is choosing to go back to the person who broke it.
It’s going back to those exes you know haven’t changed. You willingly place it in the hands of those that are only familiar with breaking, not healing.
You keep hoping for something different, even though, you haven’t even changed yourself. If you had, you wouldn’t be going back to them. You’d know better.
You break your own heart by not giving the good ones a chance, because they show you all that you deserve when you have already convinced yourself you are undeserving.
You can’t imagine giving the hardship of healing a broken heart to someone who seems so well put together, so you avoid them. Maybe, they even seem boring, because they are lacking the intensity of painful experiences to keep you stimulated. They could bring a stability that your heart is not ready for, because you have yet to heal yourself.
You break your own heart when you appreciate only another’s looks, sexual appeal, or grand gestures instead of their little quirks and consistent traits.
You look at them superficially, causing you to think that’s how you should be viewed as well. You look at things on a surface level, when hearts crave and heal from the deep.
You break your own heart when never give yourself a break.
You go to one after another, after another, in hopes of distracting yourself with a new spark of love. You hope they will become the glue that keeps those last pieces of your heart together. You don’t give yourself a chance to figure out the real reason your heart is broken.
You break your own heart when you refuse to sit with yourself.
You refuse to keep yourself company. You don’t realize that every time you do this, you are telling yourself, I don’t like you. You stop listening to your thoughts, opinions and to what you have to say. This is refusing to hear what you really want or who you really are.
You break your own heart when you keep yourself closed, locked up and held down.
You refuse to accept yourself or your sexuality or your likes and dislikes. You are not allowing all those authentic emotions to come out or to be exposed. You are telling yourself no to all of the things that keep your heart beating.
You break your heart when you refuse to love yourself.
You see how love could be, with and between others, but you forget that this can happen within you as well. A relationship between your mind, body and soul can be flourished if you choose to nurture it. You fail to admit that maybe you’re doing the wrong things to heal.
You break your heart when you can’t admit that maybe it really isn’t all of them, it’s you.
You’re not willing to hold your own heart gently, to care for it and share it with those you want so badly to take it. How can another love you if you can’t love yourself?
You are deliberately choosing to break your own heart.
You don’t even give others the chance to do it. You get to it first. You leave before you are left. You give up when you think something challenging may be ahead. You decide you are not enough for those who will love you the most.
Breaking your own heart is so much more than just choosing the wrong person.
It’s not choosing yourself.