Almost. Not yet. What if? Maybe. An almost relationship is filled with uncertainties. It is the connection you may have with another person that is difficult to define. You are unable to comprehend what it is you two really are and before you can even question it, it’s over.
They ghost you, dump you, decide to go for someone else, claim that they only see you as a friend, or cut you off.
Usually, when it ends, you feel as if it was a waste of your time. Well, here are some telltale signs that may determine whether or not you’re headed towards that almost relationship.
1. They introduce you to their friends right away.
This may seem like a good sign, but if they introduce you to their friends right away it most likely means they don’t care for the impression you have to make on them. Friends are the swing vote on whether you will be staying together, and them meeting you right away means you aren’t even given the chance for election. They’re really introducing you as someone they’re temporarily dating, not someone they are planning to have a long-lasting relationship with.
2. They talk about themselves a lot.
If they’re not asking you questions, letting you speak or maybe just seem as if they aren’t listening—they aren’t interested. They have the intention of convincing you to like them quickly, in order to end it just as fast. Them talking about themselves means they aren’t going to put in the work it takes. Relationships are built on getting to know one another on a deeper level. You may be falling head over heels because all they talk about is how great they are, but how can they fall for you if they aren’t even giving you the chance to speak?
3. They don’t bring up the conversation of what they want.
Even if they do say they want something long term, maybe their actions conflict with that. They let out that the last relationship didn’t work because it was too serious. You date for a while and they keep saying they aren’t ready to define the relationship. Either way, they’re stringing you along with their own indecisiveness. Remember, indecision is a decision.
4. Your dates aren’t frequent or you have to be the one to ask for their time.
If they aren’t putting in the effort or can’t find the time for you, most likely it means they don’t want something serious. Sporadic dates, even if it is at the finest of restaurants where they pay for everything, means they’re priorities are not really on you. Who cares if they have money if they can’t spare time? They are busy with their actual life, which you aren’t a part of.
5. You are worried about whether or not they want to see you.
A person who wants a long-lasting relationship will not only tell you this but will make it known through their actions. If you feel weird about seeing them, it means they haven’t been forward about wanting to see you. They have their options open or already know it won’t last.
6. You don’t know if you should text them or not.
You shouldn’t have to question if and when to text someone that’s looking for a serious relationship. If you’re dating and are both interested in each other and both want something serious, then texting them should never be an issue. People that have real connections want to talk to each other. Double texts, triple texts, texts during random times of the day—as long as it’s out of interest and desire to talk to them, it shouldn’t be something you have to worry about.
7. You don’t have a friendship.
To make it last, not only should you connect romantically and sexually, but in a friendly way as well. If you can’t make jokes with them the way you do with your closest buds or you can’t express your interests without feeling judged and disconnected, then what’s the point?
8. They show signs of not being ready to settle down.
You can tell when someone isn’t ready to settle down. They drink on weekdays, surround themselves with the opposite sex for attention, still have tinder on their phone and talk about exes. Any of these are signs that the person you’re interested in isn’t even ready for a lasting relationship, so don’t expect anything more than just an almost. People won’t change for you. They change when they are ready.
9. You start off the “relationship” as mostly physical rather than emotional.
You’re fucking, kissing, hugging, wrapping your arms around each other like roots to soil—this doesn’t mean you’re committed. Roots can be pulled out of the dirt if they aren’t deep enough. The reason we stay in relationships is because we find someone to connect to that’s valuable compared to others. Anyone can supply physical touch, it’s emotion and intellect that makes a relationship long-lasting.
10. They are talking or dating others while dating you.
Are they still talking to exes? Despite how much they may like you, you’ll notice the amount of energy they are putting into you. If they’re distracted by who it is they want to give their time to, don’t waste yours by waiting for them to decide. If they want something serious and defined, they will drop the others.