I’m Done Playing The Role Of A Victim

Flickr / tomo tang
Flickr / tomo tang

At a young age we are taught that princesses are the ones who wait in their towers, trapped by an ugly witch, a dragon, an evil being. The only way of being set free is to be saved by your knight in shining armor. Not only are there princess, there are drug addicts. Surrounded by family and loved ones in interventions, sent to a beautifully located rehab where everyone that is hired is there to take care of you. Depression. Millions of young girls and boys, making an effort to create scars on their skin or lock themselves in their rooms, waiting for the knock of their parents or for their friends to ask did you do that to yourself?

We, as humans, have developed some type of yearning to be noticed, to be saved by other human beings. I’ve been the type of girl, waiting for a boy to come and save her from her own despair. I’ve been the alcoholic in need of a family intervention. I’ve been the one with depression, hurting myself so that someone would just tell me how to stop the harmful thoughts going on inside my head.

The problem with this yearning is that once it’s developed, its difficult to get rid of. One day, maybe we do get saved. Someone climbs your tall, trench-surrounded tower and brings you to safety. What is it that you do then? You’re not used to being safe, to being a person who doesn’t constantly receive help and attention from others. That can be a scary place to be, scarier than actually needing help. So what is it that you do? You climb right back up into that tower and start screaming for help once again. You start placing yourself back into situations that will give other people a chance to keep coming to your rescue. You have become the victim and when you’re the victim, you’re not expected to save yourself.

We are shown ways to finally attain this help and that is through being small, having a problem or being stuck in a situation that you yourself couldn’t control. Just as you’ve seen happen to other victims, you suddenly expect others to do something about it or to pity you. I promise this doesn’t get you very far. Digging your own grave and letting other people watch, expecting them to stop you, is never going to get you out of it. Even if they did pull you out, you’ll simply keep throwing yourself back in.

What we need to learn is how to stop. Stop placing ourselves in these dangerous situations and finally face life for what it really is. A reality in which you are destined to save yourself once in a while and are forced to face traumas where only you can really buck up and get your own damn self out of bed the next morning. Only you can be the one to fight off the dragons in your life, to create your own intervention and to find the strength to stop hurting yourself.

We are shown that victims are the ones who receive the attention, are given love and brought back to life through the help of others. Don’t let this fool you. Nobody is going to hold your hand throughout life and guide you to your destiny. We simply can’t expect others to focus solely on us as we continue to drown ourselves. For if everybody becomes the victim, there will be no heroes. This is what we really must become, heroes. A hero, if not for others, than for yourself. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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