To The Woman Who Is Just Trying To Love Herself

This is for the woman who feels like she’s never enough. For the woman who can’t stop asking herself when she’ll get the weight off. For the woman who’s questioning if she’ll ever find her soulmate. For the woman wondering if she’s a good wife, mother, sister, or daughter. For the woman pining for that promotion and expanding her career. For the woman wondering if things will ever get better because this season of life is proving to be more difficult than others.

I get it. I’ve been there; we all have. We’re constantly seeking out external validation to some degree, but the problem with this is that it isn’t going to make us any more pleased with ourselves. If anything, it’ll make us feel more unsettled because we’re placing our sense of self-love, worth and value into the hands of something or someone else. We’re giving them the keys to the driver’s seat in the ride that is our life when they should only be a passenger.

Here’s a scenario for you: you’ve opened your eyes and have awakened to see another day. The sun is shining through your windows. Your mind is full of many thoughts: the work deadlines you have to meet, the plans you have with your friends or family for the weekend, or the recent endeavors you’ve suddenly decided that you’d like to pursue, yet you’re wondering if you have the time to add one more thing to your already busy schedule. The thoughts start running through your mind like water flowing from a faucet, and there’s no sign of stopping them. You may even have a very strong urge to just shut your eyes and go back to sleep to avoid any more thoughts or human interaction for the day because you’re really just not feeling it. Have you ever had a morning like this? My guess is that you certainly have.

You tell yourself that reality can surely wait until tomorrow, right? One more day can’t hurt. Wrong. The reality is that you have to wake up, get out of bed, and power through your day because you’re not going to be the best version of yourself by staying asleep with your dreams. You can’t accomplish anything in life simply by staying still, but sometimes, just shutting off from the world is all we want, if only for a day. We give so much of ourselves to our careers, our loved ones, and our passions that eventually, we just get flat out exhausted. We’re left wondering if it’ll all be worth it. We’re left questioning how much more we can handle when we feel like we’re at our wits’ end just trying to hold it altogether. This often leads to feelings of defeat and unworthiness. It could also manifest itself through little bouts of frustration and possibly even resentment towards those closest to us. It’s not always something that we immediately recognize on a conscious level. To be frank, we probably won’t recognize that anything is wrong until someone else calls us out on it and forces us to take a step back.

That is the moment. That is when it hits us like a ton of bricks. It’s that slap in the face that awakens us and makes us realize that maybe we need to do some re-evaluating of ourselves. We need to love and take care of ourselves in order to do the same for others. Yet we’re not exactly sure how to do that, are we?

Let me continue on by saying that I’m certainly no expert on this whole self-love thing. It’s something that I have to work at every single day, but I can say that I’m at least trying, just like all of you are. I’m simply just learning as I go, and I try to put one foot in front of the other as each day goes on. As women, especially in this day and age, it can be incredibly difficult to care for ourselves when we’re literally being pulled in so many different directions. How can we possibly find the time and energy to focus on loving ourselves when so many other things require our attention? Just the thought of it may be intimidating, but it absolutely can be done.

If you’re a woman out there just trying to love herself, remember this: you are beautiful and amazing just as you are. You have a purpose in your life, and you are absolutely bound for greatness. Whatever difficulties you may be facing in life right now are not your end game and do not define you. Your past has shaped you into the strong woman you are today. You are not stuck. You are stronger than your self-doubt. You are fearless. You are worthy. You simply are enough just as you are. Don’t lose sight of this. Listen to your heart when it tells you to rest. Stay in tune with your mind, body, and soul and give them all what they need. Turn the music up loud and roll the windows down on your morning commute. Sip your coffee or tea in the mornings while watching a sunrise before your family and the rest of the world wakes up. Get lost in a good book or maybe even a mindless TV show. Write about all of the things you’re grateful for. Have genuine conversations with your girlfriends full of laughter. Just make countless memories and do the smallest things that bring you joy in your life — whatever they may be.

And in those moments when you’re feeling unworthy and unloved, take a good, hard look in the mirror and tell yourself, “I am strong. I am worthy. I am loved. I am simply enough just the way I am.”