What It’s Like When The Relationship Doesn’t ‘Feel The Same’

Flickr / Alagich Katya
Flickr / Alagich Katya

I believe we have all been there at one point or another. The guy you thought was your Prince Charming, the peanut butter to your jelly, the love of your life…hits you with the dreaded “I’m not ready to be in a relationship with you” statement. Now, if you’re anything like me, you’re a bit taken back by this. You start to question all the things that could possibly be wrong with you that makes him not want to commit. Did I not give him enough attention? Is there someone else? Is it the lack of sex? These are the questions that fill your mind when he tells you he just isn’t ready.

In reality, there could be many reasons why he won’t commit. Most of them, by the way, do not involve you. Maybe he’s too busy with other things, such as a sport or another activity; maybe he simply doesn’t want to give up the “player” side in him. Maybe the immature, boyish ways still live in him, and he doesn’t want to give up the ten pennies he has (aka, other women) for that one shiny dime (which, by the way, is you).

When this happens, you have to make what seems to be the hardest decision of your life. You have to decide whether to fight, or simply take flight. You’re torn between that fine line of “if you want it, go get it” and “don’t save a spot in your life for someone who doesn’t want to be there.” Part of you wants to hold on, yet the other part of you wants to close that door and open another one in the hopes of finding love in the realms of someone else. The decision, of course, is yours. When I was dealing with this, I pondered the decision for months. By listening to my heart and my head, I knew I made the right decision.

Whether you decide to let him go or fight for him, the road is not easy. It may hurt, and you may think the pain will never subside. From experience, I can tell you that it does. It subsides with whichever decision you chose. All in all, in the end, everything will turn out the way it is meant to. You will end up right where you are supposed to be; and, most importantly, you will learn the world doesn’t stop turning, and you WILL learn to love another day. TC mark

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