The First Time I Took A Girl To The Movies

In sixth grade, one’s options for a date location are incredibly limited. Without a driver’s license or an ID to actually get to or into anywhere, one can have his/her parent drop them off at either a.) A Restaurant, b.) The Mall, or c.) The Movies. In Solon, the suburb in Ohio where I grew up, The Movies was most popular.

The first time I went on a “real date,” that is, hung out with another girl outside of home or school, I was 11 years old. My date was 16. I can’t remember how we met or started talking, I remember our first date like it was just yesterday. The movie time was established through a series of AOL Instant Messenger and text messages. Her buddy profile, in large pink font, read “Age ain’t nothin’ but a number,” which, in retrospect, seems incredibly strange, especially for a 16 year old, but when one is going through puberty most everything can be overlooked or ignored in the name of a potential make-out session.

Due to the unconventional nature of our relationship – five years is a considerable difference when you’re that young – I didn’t, couldn’t, tell anyone besides a few close friends, who’d never been on dates before. Everything I knew about going to the movies with a girl was based on my relatively small experience with watching TV.

On the way to the theater, I ignored my mom’s irrelevant-seeming questions about what time the movie would be over and how much money I would need, as scenes from Drake and Josh, Boy Meets World, 7th Heaven, and other Disney/Nickelodeon shows flashed through my mind. Would I pay for her popcorn? Put my arm around her? How? Pretend to stretch? Everything felt new and exciting to me as we pulled into the parking lot a half hour early – I made sure to get there before my date so she didn’t see my mom and my mom didn’t see her – and I got out of my mom’s minivan with a twenty in my pocket and a young, nervous energy in my chest.

I met my date in the lobby where we stood together speaking shyly about nothing and grinning at each other awkwardly, like two puppies staring at an unattended plate of human food, practically salivating. The good thing about TV shows and movies, especially in situations like that, is that it takes a lot of the pressure off of actually having to do or say anything interesting. One simply shows up, does his/her best to look/smell/feel good and lets the screen take care of the entertainment aspect of the date, while s/he waits for The Right Moment to go in for the kiss. I, however, was too stupid to realize that Any Moment is The Right Moment – even during Coach Carter – when you’re young and on a date, because that’s what young people do on dates: they half-watch whatever’s on and make out as much as possible.

The movie ended and the lights brightened. The credits rolled. Our hands, which were clasped tightly in one another’s for nearly the entire duration of the movie, were beginning to sweat. Her fingers lightly trace the outline of mine. I looked at her face. “Do you…want to make out?” I said stupidly. “In the future,” she said, “you’re not supposed to ask; you’re just supposed to do it.” She leaned over the armrest and we made out until the credits were over and the theater was empty and the house lights came on. TC mark

image – Galif548

More From Thought Catalog

  • http://twitter.com/mung_beans Mung Beans

    :o

    • http://www.smokingonanemptystomach.blogspot.com Jordan

      whassup

    • http://www.smokingonanemptystomach.blogspot.com Jordan

      whassup

  • http://www.nosexcity.com NoSexCity

    Alternate title: “My First (Heterosexual) Chickenhawk Makeout Sesh” 

    • http://www.smokingonanemptystomach.blogspot.com Jordan

      http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=chickenhawk

      i like how many different uses there are re “chickenhawk,” seems rappers could utilize that…

      something about “chicken” (like a “bird,” a kilogram of cocaine) and stealing someones girl (“chickenhawk”), seems promising

      • http://www.nosexcity.com NoSexCity

        That whole #nohomo thing will clearly keep rappers from ever realizing the term’s versatility and/or greatness. Sad, I know. :(

      • http://www.smokingonanemptystomach.blogspot.com Jordan

        someone could maybe be like, “i move a kilo, bird, chicken, hawk / steal your girlfriend from you call it chickenhawk / no homo but y’all so chickenhawk / whip the soft into hard and hear that chicken squawk” i guess…like use it as a diss or something, i don’t know

      • http://www.nosexcity.com NoSexCity

        Someone needs to put the word out to Killa Cam. If anyone could give this word two legs to stand on in the rap community, it’s him.

      • http://www.smokingonanemptystomach.blogspot.com Jordan

        i agree

        killa cam, if you’re reading this, email jordancastroisthepresident[at]gmail[dot]com, i’m a fan

      • http://www.smokingonanemptystomach.blogspot.com Jordan

        someone could maybe be like, “i move a kilo, bird, chicken, hawk / steal your girlfriend from you call it chickenhawk / no homo but y’all so chickenhawk / whip the soft into hard and hear that chicken squawk” i guess…like use it as a diss or something, i don’t know

      • http://www.nosexcity.com NoSexCity

        That whole #nohomo thing will clearly keep rappers from ever realizing the term’s versatility and/or greatness. Sad, I know. :(

      • http://www.nosexcity.com NoSexCity

        That whole #nohomo thing will clearly keep rappers from ever realizing the term’s versatility and/or greatness. Sad, I know. :(

      • http://www.nosexcity.com NoSexCity

        That whole #nohomo thing will clearly keep rappers from ever realizing the term’s versatility and/or greatness. Sad, I know. :(

      • http://www.nosexcity.com NoSexCity

        That whole #nohomo thing will clearly keep rappers from ever realizing the term’s versatility and/or greatness. Sad, I know. :(

      • http://www.nosexcity.com NoSexCity

        That whole #nohomo thing will clearly keep rappers from ever realizing the term’s versatility and/or greatness. Sad, I know. :(

      • http://www.nosexcity.com NoSexCity

        That whole #nohomo thing will clearly keep rappers from ever realizing the term’s versatility and/or greatness. Sad, I know. :(

  • Chissy

    I went to Orange and I love your references to Solon; I’ve been to that theatre many a time. Love this article

    • http://www.smokingonanemptystomach.blogspot.com Jordan

      hi chissy, sweet, thank you

  • Henry

    Drake and Josh was a horrible program.

    • http://www.smokingonanemptystomach.blogspot.com Jordan

      i think i liked it for a period of time, or watched it sometimes at least

      i remember an episode where drake compares girls to candy saying something like “just because you like Crunch bars doesn’t mean you would only want Crunch bars for the rest of your life, right?  you’d want Sour Patch once in a while [etc]”

    • http://www.smokingonanemptystomach.blogspot.com Jordan

      i think i liked it for a period of time, or watched it sometimes at least

      i remember an episode where drake compares girls to candy saying something like “just because you like Crunch bars doesn’t mean you would only want Crunch bars for the rest of your life, right?  you’d want Sour Patch once in a while [etc]”

  • A.

    Why would a 16-yr-old girl be making out with someone who’s 11?! Creeper status.

    • Baby_gurl

      #dark

      but true.

    • http://www.smokingonanemptystomach.blogspot.com Jordan

      guess i just had my swag turnt up to the max…not really sure though…

  • Anonymous

    I like popcorn.

  • Anonymous

    I like popcorn.

    • http://www.smokingonanemptystomach.blogspot.com Jordan

      sweet, me too

  • ViperRR

    Well, the first time I took a girl to the movies was ok-ish. After the years it got better, because instead of kissing I would get blowies from my gfs. It was kinda weird though because we had to go to those late-night sessions and you would not believe the kind of creeps who lurk around the movies at such hours.

    • Asdf

      Let me just take a stab at guessing: the kind that refer to blowjobs as “blowies” and proceed to ask their girlfriend to “commence with the blowies” in the middle of a movie theatre late at night?

      • http://www.smokingonanemptystomach.blogspot.com Jordan

        imagining a teenager earnestly looking at the face of another teenager and saying “commence the blowie” with a business-like tone of voice

    • http://www.facebook.com/grc15r Gregory Costa

      I just don’t get what was in it for them.  A bag of popcorn, a movie ticket that went to waste, a boyfriend who refers to the deed as “blowies,” and a foul taste in their mouth they had to endure for an hour or so. They sound like whores.

      • http://twitter.com/straponheart Evan Hatch

        you are going to die alone

      • Just Saying

        Why exactly? Because he makes some really good points. He sounds much better than the douch saying “blowies”. Sounds like boogers. Ewww.

      • http://www.facebook.com/grc15r Gregory Costa

        Well, coincidentally, I’m going to say based on my record, he’s right.  However, I’m also going to say dying alone sounds like a peaceful way of going out.

      • http://www.smokingonanemptystomach.blogspot.com Jordan

        lol

    • http://www.smokingonanemptystomach.blogspot.com Jordan

      damn, “blowies,” interesting…have never heard them referred to as “blowies,” i think, nor have i ever received one in a movie theater

      creepy lurking people sounds bad…damn…

    • Emmanuel Jackson78
  • Asdf

    “In the future,” I said, “the phrase ‘age ain’t nothin’ but a number’ is reserved for paedophiles.”

    • http://tekniklr.com Teri

      And cougars.

      • http://www.smokingonanemptystomach.blogspot.com Jordan

        i am currecntly seeking an attractive upperclass widow with a lot of money who can take care of me monetarily and otherwise.  if any “cougars” are interested…jordancastroisthepresident[at]gmail[dot]com

    • http://www.smokingonanemptystomach.blogspot.com Jordan

      damn, just checked the spelling of “paedophile” not expecting it to actually be spelled that way, interesting

  • Guest

    I’m picturing this girl to be  chubby, kind of a loser, not many friends, and desperate. I don’t see any other reason a 16 year old girl would go out with an eleven year old. 

    Nawfense.

    • http://www.smokingonanemptystomach.blogspot.com Jordan

      i don’t think she was chubby or considered “kind of a loser.”  i think she had a “normal” amount of friends and didn’t seem desperate, in my view.

      other reasons for what happened may include: her actually liking me, me “not seeming like an 11y/o,” or [infinite number of other reasons]

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Carlos-Ortiz/1279921705 Carlos Ortiz

    sweet story.
    also was told ‘you’re not supposed to ask’ the first time I kissed a girl.

    • http://www.smokingonanemptystomach.blogspot.com Jordan

      thank you

      sweet re also being told that, interesting

  • http://twitter.com/straponheart Evan Hatch

    that was surprisingly non-alienating for a jordan castro piece. i think you are developing a style that is a lot less reliant on an exaggerated version of tao’s and that’s definitely a good thing.

    • http://www.smokingonanemptystomach.blogspot.com Jordan

      i’m glad you didn’t feel alienated by this piece

  • Callamity

    was this before or after you converted your voice to monotone?

    • http://www.smokingonanemptystomach.blogspot.com Jordan

      i don’t think i’ve “converted my voice to monotone”

      • Guest

        “i” “don’t” “think” “so” “either”

      • http://www.smokingonanemptystomach.blogspot.com Jordan

        sweet

  • LDN

    aww.

    • http://www.smokingonanemptystomach.blogspot.com Jordan

      hehe

  • Freak

    It would be creepier if the boy was 16 and the girl was 11. But being a 16 year old girl I can safely say that while i’ve hooked up with guys MUCH older than me(20somethingorother), I think society would deem it a lot more appropriate than hooking up with an 11 year old. Or maybe not?  

    • http://www.smokingonanemptystomach.blogspot.com Jordan

      i feel unsure as to how society perceives things like hooking up with older/younger people

      pretty sure society wouldn’t deem it appropriate for a 16y/o girl to be making out with an 11y/o boy though

      at some point that school year i was actually sent to the guidance councelor’s office because somehow the girls younger brother found out about us (he used to give me notes from her and her notes from me, maybe he read one or something) and was asked if i “started the rumors about me and [kids sister].”  i remember “playing dumb” and saying things like “why would i start a rumor like that?” and other things.

  • spencer

    Imagining a 16 year old girl making out with an 11 year old boy is disturbing. Would like to see pictures of you / her at the time of the make-out.  

    • Asdf

      Don’t know how old you are, but that’s infinitely more disturbing.

      • http://www.smokingonanemptystomach.blogspot.com Jordan

        lol

      • spencer

        would like to see pics of the make out (via :*) 

      • http://www.smokingonanemptystomach.blogspot.com Jordan

        no make out pics, sorry bro

    • http://www.smokingonanemptystomach.blogspot.com Jordan

      i don’t think i’d like to share her identity / i don’t have any pictures of myself at the time of the make-out on this computer, sorry bro

  • devin

    What movie did you see? I’m interested in what this girl is doing now? Seems like she might be interesting if she was willing to make-out with a boy that much younger….was she fucking crazy or just a huge R-Kelly fan?

    • http://www.smokingonanemptystomach.blogspot.com Jordan

      ‘coach carter,’ i think

      i don’t know what she’s doing now – we haven’t communicated since ~3-5 months after that movie, i think

      i don’t know if she was crazy and/or a huge r. kelly fan

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=647307612 Nina Thomas

    Okay great piece but I would have called the feds if I were you!  YOU WERE 11?!  This is how people get killed!!  

    • http://www.smokingonanemptystomach.blogspot.com Jordan

      lol, thank you

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=9383035 Scott Muska

    The end of this speech = best time to go in for the Coach Carter makeout sesh. Or the best time to start a slow clap.

    • http://www.smokingonanemptystomach.blogspot.com Jordan

      hehe

  • Nick

    Of all the Tao Linn imitators you are the most blatant.

    • devin

      I honestly feel that all writers are basically “imitating” other writers….if someone likes the style in which something is written and has the talent to write in a similar style, I don’t see the problem.

      Although, I don’t really see how this particular piece sounds like a Tao Lin piece….I enjoyed it though. Good job, Jordan. 

      • fuck

        tried to write a reply to this a couple times, got frustrated and instead will settle on saying fuck everybody who puts ‘honestly feel that’ or ‘seems like’ in front of everything they say, and fuck everybody who puts scare quotes around the only thing they’re saying that actually has any substance

      • http://www.smokingonanemptystomach.blogspot.com Jordan

        can you please elaborate re your thought process re “fuck everybody who puts ‘honestly feel that’ or ‘seems like’ in fromt of everything they say”?

      • fuck

        doing that is symptomatic of communication so steeped in apathy/irony that they have to use an obtuse qualifier to point out that they’re trying to express a genuine opinion, which implies to me that the minority of opinions they express are things that they ‘honestly feel,’ so fuck that

      • http://www.smokingonanemptystomach.blogspot.com Jordan

        i think in certain situations with certain people that may or may not be true, but it could also be an attempt at doing something specific with language or a result of a thought process so involved that the person chooses to put quotes around a certain word because the person feels a certain way about said word.

        it is hard to know what one, especially another person, does or doesn’t “honestly feel” and i don’t know why a person would try to or even want to attempt at discerning that (unless it was one’s girl or boyfriend or something)

        seems weird to me…saying “fuck that” about something there’s no way you could possibly know anything about…i don’t know…

      • devin

        you guys are some critical motherfuckers. 

      • http://www.smokingonanemptystomach.blogspot.com Jordan

        tru that bruh

      • http://www.smokingonanemptystomach.blogspot.com Jordan

        tru that bruh

      • http://www.smokingonanemptystomach.blogspot.com Jordan

        thank you devin, i feel similarly re ‘all writers are basically “imitating” other writers…’

        thank you re “good job”

    • http://www.smokingonanemptystomach.blogspot.com Jordan

      i don’t think that in my writing – especially this piece or my recent pieces on TC – i “imitate” tao, except for in the way i “imitate” everything i perceive, as one can only “output” what has been “input” into them, or something, via cause and effect in concrete reality and other things.

      regardless, i like tao’s writing and if this, in your view, reminds you of that, then i don’t view it as a “bad” thing because ideally i’d like to write things i’d like to read, and i like reading tao’s writing

      shouts out tao and all the homies – keep keeping it real and doing your thang y’all.  shouts out all the haters too i guess for the inadvertant support via attention/comments.  in the words of lil wayne, “real niggaz fuck with me / and i don’t give a fuck who don’t,” ydig?

  • space mountain

    ur still rlly young br0

    • http://www.smokingonanemptystomach.blogspot.com Jordan

  • Kate

    ..that movie theater in the photo is in my town. weird

    • http://www.smokingonanemptystomach.blogspot.com Jordan

      sweet, what town/movie theater is it?

  • Chris_H

    Coach Carter came out in theaters in 2005. Does that mean you’re now 17 years old?

    • http://www.smokingonanemptystomach.blogspot.com Jordan

      i’m 18 now, damn…wondering if maybe ‘coach carter’ wasn’t the first movie we saw or if there is some other explanation (like if i was twelve (pretty sure i was 11, i know we are 5 years apart in age) or if something like which month i was born in or which month the movie came out could make it so that i was 11 at the time)…interesting

  • Anonymous

    :D

  • Emmanuel Jackson78

    I can be myself when I am with you. Your idea of romance is dim lights,
    soft music, and just the two of us. Because you make me feel like I
    have never felt before. I can tell you anything, and you won’t be
    shocked. Your undying faith is what keeps the flame of our love alive.
    You and me together, we can make magic. We’re a perfect match. Thinking
    of you fills me with a wonderful feeling. Your love gives me the feeling
    that the best is still ahead. You never give up on me, and that’s what
    keeps me going. You are simply irresistible. I love you because you
    bring the best out of me. I love your terrific sense of humor. Every
    time I look at you, my heart misses a beat. You’re the one who holds the
    key to my heart. You always say what I need to hear. You have taught me
    the true meaning of love. Love is, what you mean to me – and you mean
    everything. You are my theme for a dream. I have had the time of my life
    and I owe it all to you. And, of course, I love your intelligence,
    ’cause you were smart enough to fall in love with me.
    Love Always,

    • http://www.smokingonanemptystomach.blogspot.com Jordan

      thas whassup, email jordancastroisthepresident[at]gmail[dot]com to meet

    • http://www.smokingonanemptystomach.blogspot.com Jordan

      thas whassup, email jordancastroisthepresident[at]gmail[dot]com to meet

    • http://www.smokingonanemptystomach.blogspot.com Jordan

      thas whassup, email jordancastroisthepresident[at]gmail[dot]com to meet

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