Drafts Of The Email I Was Going To Send You But Didn’t Because I Don’t Owe You Shit

trust me, you don’t want me to go into detail.
*
i am sorry that my survival upsets you
but i have no intention of softening my success
so that you cry less at night.
*
it’s called the ‘block’ feature, and it’s useful
for situations like these.
*
tell yourself whatever you need to hear,
but know you’re speaking to an empty room
that no one wants to enter anymore.
*
i hope you call him to commiserate. i hope
even he gets sick of your whining.
*
you threw me into an alligator swamp
and you’re just pissed i managed to get out
alive.
*
all i ever did was give you a lifeboat:
you’re the one who put bullets in it.
and if it’s a sin to save my own skin and swim
to shore alone, then call me damned,
and i will wear the scars of hellfire as proudly
as i ever called you ‘friend.’
*
what’s it like to lose everyone around you,
and still think it’s not your fault?