Maybe…Maybe Not

Maybe...Maybe Not
Sweet Ice Cream Photography

Maybe one day you’ll find yourself packing up your college apartment to move off to the city and you’ll be going through old stuff sorting it out then stumble upon this letter.

Maybe not.

Maybe you’ll throw it out, or maybe you’ll hold onto it for in the future when you’re alone and get a chance to actually read it.

Maybe not.

Maybe I’ll pop into your head and you’ll start reminiscing over all of the old memories we shared.

Maybe not.

And if I’m lucky, maybe, just maybe you’ll focus on the happy thoughts instead of the not-so-happy ones.

Maybe not.

Maybe the only L’s you’ll take are the ones where you Live, Laugh, and Love.

Maybe not.

Maybe one day you’ll get everything you could ever need and want out of not only life, but love.

Maybe not.

Maybe the galaxies had aligned just right with the stars in your eyes to blind me from the inevitable heartbreak that was to come.

Maybe not.

Maybe it was the spark in your eyes or the glow of your smile that reminded me of a place I’d never been before—home.

Maybe not.

Maybe somewhere out there in the vast universe we’re together in another life on a different planet and this all worked out.

Maybe not.

Maybe it was supposed to happen like this.

Maybe not.

Maybe this pen will run out of ink or my phone/computer will die before I find all the right words to say.

Maybe not.

Maybe one day I’ll finally get my shit together, go to school, quit going out with the guys so much, stop smoking, start working out more, and really focus on utilizing all this “potential” I’ve heard people tell me about.

Maybe not.

Maybe I’ll fall in love, have kids, work a stable job in the suburbs close to my family, and live the typical American dream kinda lifestyle.

Maybe not.

Maybe that’s the kind of lifestyle for me.

Maybe not.

Maybe one day I’ll finally get rid of all the “what if” and “what could’ve been” thoughts that keep me awake at night.

Maybe not.

Maybe I’m no longer the guy standing in front of a girl asking what it is I have to do to make you love me the way I love you.

Maybe not.

Maybe I’ll wake up in my mid-30s by myself in a king-size bed second-guessing all my life’s decisions.

Maybe not.

Maybe after countless nights of tossing and turning in bed I’ll roll over to check my phone and what time it is and end up going through old contacts and stumble across your name.

Maybe not.

Maybe I’ll stare at your name on my phone for what seems like hours but when I check the time only two minutes have gone by.

Maybe not.

Maybe this is the ending to yet another teenage love story that was broken by the real world.

Maybe not.

Maybe after all these years apart we’re both still more in love than we’ve ever been.

Maybe not.

Maybe I’ll climb out of bed and start going through that old cardboard box of high-school memorabilia buried beneath the cobwebs and dust in the basement that my mom forced me to take home last Christmas.

Maybe not.

Maybe I’ll find this crumpled-up piece of paper alongside all the other love letters I wrote but never sent to you.

Maybe not.

Maybe I’ll read through this and grab my phone dying to send you a text or call you.

Maybe not.

Maybe I’ll grab a lighter and burn every shred of evidence this paper existed.

Maybe not.

Maybe I’ll just wanna talk, and not use the opportunity to win you over.

Maybe not.

Maybe you finally changed the phone number that you’ve had since freshman year in high school.

Maybe not.

Maybe I’ll snap back into reality and realize I can’t do that because it’s 3:37 in the morning and you’re probably in bed with your husband.

Maybe not.

Maybe I don’t snap back into reality and send that text or make that call.

Maybe not.

Maybe I’ll realize that it’s no longer 3:37 and it’s now 5:45 AM and I have to work in the morning and go to sleep.

Maybe not.

Maybe you’ll get in fights and go through low points with your new husband/fiancé and wanna give up.

Maybe not.

Maybe he’ll swallow his pride, and you will, too, only to make up realizing you were both just acting foolish. Maybe you won’t, and this really is the end of your relationship.

Maybe not.

Maybe you’ll finally get a chance to go back to school and finish up your master’s or take that solo vacation to Europe you’ve been talking about for years.

Maybe not.

Maybe you’ll have sold that old beat-up two-door you worked so hard for the summer going into your sophomore year.

Maybe not.

Maybe you finally got that final assignment done you put off until the night before your junior year.

Maybe not.

Maybe you would’ve got prom queen your senior year.

Maybe not.

Maybe you’ll finally leave this town and never look back.

Maybe not.

Maybe I’ll stop chasing my dreams and finally face the fact that nothing’s wrong with living a modest life.

Maybe not.(prolly not)

Maybe I’ll make myself a priority for once.

Maybe not.

Maybe I had mistaken love for lust.

Maybe not.

Maybe It was just infatuation.

Maybe not.

Maybe our paths crossed not to stay as one our whole life, but show us the infinite number of others we could and probably should take.

Maybe not.

Maybe someday the right person at the wrong time will get their chance.

Maybe not.

Maybe there really is such a thing as right place, wrong time.

Maybe not.

Maybe we’re all students in the classroom of life, where love is the teacher, and the lessons can only be learned through pain.

Maybe not.

Maybe the person you love unconditionally will never feel the same and you’ll never feel the same about the one who loves you unconditionally.

Maybe not.

Maybe the best therapy is a long car ride and good music.

Maybe not.

Maybe I knew it was over when you stop saying goodnight and I stop saying good morning.

Maybe not.

Maybe one day you’ll get what you deserve. Whether that be good or bad.

Maybe not.

Maybe we should learn to wish peace amongst our enemies.

Maybe not.

Maybe people really do change overnight.

Maybe not.

Maybe the grass is greener on the other side, but don’t let other people’s rainstorms intimidate you from your own rain-dance.

Maybe not.

Maybe we should learn how to listen to understand and not just listen to reply.

Maybe not.

Maybe we should learn how to be more fluent in silence rather than with words

Maybe not.

Maybe drunk words aren’t really sober thoughts.

Maybe not.

Maybe trust is an unwritten language we all know but few speak.

Maybe not.

Maybe it was all the words you didn’t say that spoke the most.

Maybe not.

Maybe things really are black and white, and our minds just create the gray space.

Maybe not.

Maybe life is easy, and love is hard.

Maybe not.

Maybe life’s not as hard as it seems, and we just make it more complicated than it needs to be.

Maybe not.

Maybe if I’d stop worrying so much about what others think of me and worry about what I think of myself. Embracing every flaw and work on becoming a better me.

Maybe not.

Maybe we’re all at war with the same person staring back in the mirror.

Maybe not.

Maybe I had to make you miss me in order to make you appreciate my presence.

Maybe not.

Maybe it was fate.

Maybe not.

Maybe music is meant to be felt, not heard.

Maybe not.

Maybe I’ll find the answer I’ve been so desperately searching for at the bottom of this bottle of Hennessy. Maybe it won’t be this bottle but the next one so I’m better off to just keep drinking.

Maybe not.

Maybe I should stop drinking because it only leads to me scrolling through your social media sites late at night when I’m alone wondering where you’re at in life and how you’re doing.

Maybe not.

Maybe if I keep drinking I’ll develop the courage to reach out to you and catch up.

Maybe not.

Maybe the alcohol was easier to swallow than the fact that you were never coming back was.

Maybe not.

Maybe somehow, someway, it’ll really be different this time.

Maybe not.

Maybe it was your laugh that was more infectious than any disease or plague mankind had ever seen before.

Maybe not.

Maybe it wasn’t as easy as you think it was for me to leave.

Maybe not.

Maybe I spent nights lying in bed surrounded by darkness, staring into the nothingness that lay before me, thoughts racing, asking myself over and over again why I wasn’t good enough or what did I do wrong for you to not love me the way I loved you.

Maybe not.

Maybe I should keep going.

Maybe I wasn’t good enough for you and never will be.

Maybe not.

Maybe I’m still paying for past mistakes I made even before I met you.

Maybe not.

Maybe I’m undeserving of love.

Maybe not.

Maybe I confused a soulmate with a lesson learned.

Maybe not.

Maybe some of our most permanent lessons are learned by temporary people.

Maybe not.

Maybe the world that we live in must come crashing down around us, only so we can rebuild the one we choose to live in.

Maybe not.

Maybe this is the end.

Maybe not.

Maybe it’s just the beginning.

But then again, maybe not. TC mark

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