Latest Posts

Thought Monologue No. 3

A man punched his girlfriend in the face after spotting a photo of an unknown man on her cellphone — which turned out to be a picture of Mitt Romney. Newt Gingrich has since released a statement saying she wasn’t his girlfriend.

Thought Monologue No. 2

Bristol Palin is defending her 3-year-old son, Tripp, saying that while he did say the f-word during an episode of her reality show, it wasn’t homophobic. Because they aren’t scared of any queers.

Game Of Thrones Casting Call Application Form

Thank you for applying to be a featured extra on HBO’s hit-series, Game of Thrones. As an equal-opportunity employer, we hire solely on merit and we pride ourselves on employing a diverse cast and production staff. For an expedient response, please answer the following questions honestly and in full.

55 Truths That May Or May Not Be True

“I miss your face” = “but not as much as your body”. If loose lips sink ships then Steven Tyler must have been aboard the Titanic. In space, nobody can see you juggle. If you’ve ever slipped on an actual banana peel, you are a bold-faced liar.

A Suicide Note From The Word "Moist"

What is it about me that you hate so much? I’ve thought about that question for hundreds of years and have never been able to answer it rationally. I know, I “like totally creep you out.” Even as a young child, people would say my name and then shiver and announce that they needed to take a shower. But why?

The Myth Of Funemployment

The number of people with which one can have said fun is depressingly scarce during the week. This is because they have jobs, which was the thing I used to have before funemployment started.