1. Say good things about them BEHIND their back
There is something beautiful and emotionally powerful when someone hears that you’ve been talking about them in a positive way. While we usually do the opposite, you’ve set yourself a part from anyone else and have essentially cemented THEIR reputation as a special character amongst your peers. Enough with the sh*t talking because special talking has arrived: it will make them feel so good.
2. Make it about them and not about you
It can be hard to give 100% of our focus to someone else when current technological advances have made it easy for us to become the centerpiece of any situation. We need to get out of this mindset, at least for that moment, to make that one person feel… special. It will require you to put your phone away, close your laptop, and halt your eyes from observing everything that moves.
From experience, this is a tough feat. However, once you find the discipline to block everything else out, you will begin to genuinely see all the great and amazing qualities about the person you’re interacting with. And, the best way to make someone feel great is for you to know exactly what makes them special to you!
3. Make them feel your positive energy
People have this innate ability to feed off the energy of others. I know when I turn into my manic-depressive state, I create a negative force field that creeps on anyone nearby: my manic energy makes them feel far from happy.
When you come off with positive energy, you’ve become a superhero to anyone who interacts with you. They’re having a bad day? It’s okay because your energy uplifts their spirits.
Be positive not only because people like to be around positive people, but also because you’ll psychologically trick yourself that you are a happy person as well!
4. Laugh together
There is a big difference between laughing at someone and laughing with someone. Isn’t there a saying that says, “People who laugh together make each other feel special together?” I swear it’s something along those lines.
5. Surprise them with a small thoughtful gesture
It’s those little things that count. Imagine waking up one morning to receive a text or an email of someone who you haven’t talked to in a while (someone you like personally) and the message reads, “Thinking about you… I hope you’re doing well!”
Doesn’t that feel good? It can even be a longer message! Of course there needs to be a balance between becoming a creepy stalker vs. making someone feel special. There are limitations and boundaries you must learn, but I’m sure you understand the idea.
6. Give them a phone call
People rarely pick up their phones to call each other anymore. This is where, again, you can be different from all the others and it is where you can be more direct in your statements. Also, to put yourself in a verbal situation puts you at a risk of a conversational mishap. Because, unlike written form where you can be more pre-mediated, a verbal compliment can lead to a stutter or a scattered thought.
It’s bold and the receiver knows it’s bold. Therefore, you’re essentially telling them that you’re willing to put yourself in a vulnerable situation because you’re willing to risk the perception of your intelligence and ego to make them feel special.
Now that is saying something.
7. Believe in them
I’m making a figure up based on the people and peers I interact with on a daily basis. But I think many of us, who are working hard towards our (almost) unattainable personal goal(s), walk around with self-doubt. This self-doubt can lead to a burn out, giving up, and the worst of it all – failure.
What is it they say? “Limiting beliefs.”
There is a ton of talented people out there who need others to believe in them, motivate them, and push them (a little nudge) to finishing their goals.
I’m not saying they need to be baby fed, but a little nudge of inspiration (especially if you – yourself – is seen to be a success in what you’re doing) can be all what it takes to make them shine as bright as the stars!
8. Tell them you love them!
Love is a word that just feels good. Ya know? The only time I hated to hear the word was when it came from disingenuous lying person. Luckily, only once in a blue moon will a draconian person say I love you to me.
Anyway, the word “love” or even the ole fashion “<3” text symbol can make someone’s heart jump with a hip hop beat. Say it, mean it, and give it because as I’ve said before – it feels so good.
9. Hug them passionately
Touch is the first language we’ve used to communicate. Therefore, touching someone else sends a stronger message than just “words.” A high-five, a pat on the back, and even an accidently stroke on the arm can trigger an emotional pull that no other verbal command can compete with. This is why a passionate hug is one of the most important ways you can make someone feel special.
According to Dr. Dacher Keltner, a UC Berkeley Psychologist who teaches two main courses to undergraduates, Human Emotion & Happiness, states that for a hug to be truly effective the hug must last more than six seconds. This type of hug provides a release of oxytocin (for both parties), a chemical that helps reduce the levels of stress, makes both parties happier, and builds the sensation of trust.
A hug roots back to people’s baby days where they were coddled by a loving embrace of a woman (man) who wanted them to sleep with peace. A hug is crucial when logic doesn’t make sense and the only thing that matters is the touch of love. A hug is the antithesis to making someone feel special.
Hug someone you love today.
Make someone feel wonderful.
Make someone feel special.