Online dating is certainly one of the success stories of modern times. Technology is streamlining so many aspects of our lives, and nowhere is this more apparent than dating. The process couldn’t be simpler. You sign on, spend some time creating an eye-catching profile; next thing you find yourself with access to a huge pool of potential partners. Right at your fingertips. Literally.
But there is a temptation to think that virtual dating has somehow become quite separate to the way it used to be done. Older people looking for relationships might feel alienated by anything that involves apps and instant communication. Nothing could be further from the truth. Just because you’re used to old school dating doesn’t mean that many of techniques you are familiar with are no longer valid. Let’s examine some of the more traditional dating rules that will still lead to success in the world of online dating.
Okay. You suddenly find you can browse through more profiles of attractive partners during your 15-minute coffee break that your impatience can cope with. Once you begin sifting through photographs, studying hobbies and interests, and trying to work out which glowing descriptions might be stretching the truth, you may well begin whittling down the people you would like to get to know better. With so many to choose from, what could possibly go wrong?
It’s important to retain some of the old school thinking. When you weren’t so spoiled for choice, it made you a bit more selective about who you dated, didn’t it? Just because you have an incredible number of potential partners doesn’t mean you should think along the lines of “if I don’t hit it off with A, then I can move on B, then C. I’ll surely strike it lucky before reaching Z.” Credit yourself with a bit more taste than that! Having many profiles to choose from should never make you greedy. You should still approach the online version of meeting a partner with that sense of discernment. Take your time. The internet isn’t going anywhere.
The truth, and nothing but the truth.
The worldwide web is full of imposters. Individuals who like the anonymity and skulk behind browsers, sometimes creating an exaggerated version of themselves. Often what they say is a downright lie. With old school dating there is more of a tendency to be upfront and honest. When strangers meet on a blind date, they’re not going to make much of a connection if they start telling porkies about their lives, or their careers.
That sense of integrity is something you’ll need to retain if you want to achieve online dating success. One thing about these websites growing in membership all the time is that they have to maintain strict levels of professionalism. If there are members who turn out to be charlatans, they’ll very quickly be found out, reported, and then kicked off the site. Whether you are meeting in the real world, or getting to know a potential lover through a series of ever more flirtatious messages, the best advice is to be as open as possible about what kind of date you are looking for.
With traditional dating, unless a mutual friend arranged your blind date – after supplying you with a great deal of background details first – you would find yourself in the intriguing position of getting to know someone from scratch. If you wanted to find out more about this wonderful, enigmatic and sexy stranger, you had to engage with them conversationally. In the online world, you have access to various tools that will allow you to carry out any detective work you might wish to. Social media accounts are one of the most obvious. By going through a series of searches you might be able to home in on a Facebook account. Depending on security settings, or lack of them, you could find yourself being drawn into interesting postings, racy conversations, photo archives.
I would urge you to stop right about there and close the window. The good thing about old school dating rules is that it was always far more satisfying getting to know someone special at a natural pace, without secretly having snooped on holiday snaps taken with an old flame. If you really want to click with someone who has caught your eye online, it should always be about now. And the future. Not some irrelevant past.
Finally, old school dating gave you fixed expectations about meeting Mr. or Mrs. Right. You expected to feel your pulse racing. You expected to meet ‘the one.’ So don’t lower your bar just because online dating may seem more superficial. You should still be anticipating that the end result will be explosive!