Lots of people think that extroverts have it made. Sure, we can talk to random strangers, speak our minds pretty easily, and are more likely to be the “life of the party.” But it isn’t all fun, games, and excitement. Extroverts have some surprising problems, too. Here are six of them.
1. Everyone thinks we’re easy to understand.
I’ve seen hundreds of articles explaining introverts, but very few about extroverts. Everyone assumes we’re easy to understand. In reality, we’re as complicated as anyone else. Sure, we talk a lot, but that doesn’t mean we’ve revealed everything there is to know about our opinions and our core personality.
2. Yes, we talk to ourselves.
Extroverts like to “talk it out” with someone, whether it’s a relationship issue with a significant other or solving a problem at work. If we can’t find anyone to discuss it with, sometimes we just take the next best option: talking to ourselves. Don’t freak out. We’re not really having a conversation with ourselves, just meeting a need to get out some words. So please don’t judge us.
3. People think we’re flaky.
Introverts say the fewest words possible to make their point, so they’re usually judged as “deep” and thoughtful. Extroverts use the most words possible because we like to talk and that means we…what was my point again? Oh, yeah. We are just as deep and creative as introverts (many great authors and philosophers were extroverts), but sometimes it all gets lost in the (literal) noise.
4. We need people…too much.
Extroverts receive energy and personal fulfillment through social interaction. This recharges our mental and emotional batteries. However, if no one is available to hang out, we’re stuck by ourselves. If our friends just simply aren’t exciting, our needs won’t be met. So we might get annoyed and even depressed. Relying on other people for energy and happiness is a big problem, especially when no one is around to help.
5. The social pressure is great.
A natural ability to be social is an asset, especially in friendships, dating, and business. But the flip side is that we often feel a lot of pressure to “perform.” If there’s a gap in the conversation, everyone looks to us to fill it. If it’s time for joking around, our jokes are expected to be the best. If a big client is coming to town, the boss thinks it’s our job to win him over…and we’d better succeed.
The extroverts in every group are expected to take the lead socially. While we’ll gladly take that role often, we don’t always want it, especially when there’s pressure.
6. We hate being alone.
Perhaps the biggest problem extroverts face is that we hate being alone. Sure, we need down time and can even enjoy it, but only on our own terms. And our desire for true alone time is relatively rare. If we are alone against our wishes, we can be anxious, grumpy, and depressed. Long-term, consistent loneliness can even be crippling and devastating to extreme extroverts.
So while being an extrovert has major advantages, we also have our share of problems. It may look fun from the outside, but if you look closer, it’s not all it’s cracked up to be.