Dear Grilled Cheese,
Hey, how’s it going? Haha same. Seen any good movies lately? What do you think of Adele’s new album (let’s talk offline)?
I don’t want to be too forward, but I’m a big fan of yours and have been for quite some time now. I’m familiar with all your work. I loved you in “Lunch on Saturday, May 3rd 2004” and I still haven’t forgotten your performance in “I’m too lazy to actually cook something.”
I bet you get letters like these allll the time, I’m sure it gets annoying, everyone praising you for your unparralled convenience and your impressive versatility, but I’m thankful for everything you’ve done for me and I need to let you know.
Like a bad yearbook picture, you’ve been with me through every stage of my life. You were there for me when I was going to see Rugrats Vacation in theaters but I was running late and still wanted to eat lunch. You were there for me when I wanted to get rid of that sharp cheddar cheese in my fridge but didn’t want to use it in an omelet. And, of course, who could forget that one night in college when we tried to build a moat entirely of grilled cheese around our house. Lol do you remember how mad the neighbors were?
Btw, how’s everyone else in the sandwich family doing? Is BLT still in school? Are you and Philly Cheesesteak finally on speaking terms again? Is Reuben still in rehab?
Anyways, I know we haven’t hung out a lot lately, I’ve been busy with work, you’ve been busy being an inanimate object that can’t talk, we both have our flaws. But I’m going to change that. I promise. After all, you’re more than just a couple pieces of bread with some slices of cheese (bacon, tomato, avocado, etc) you’re a symbol for everything good in life. You’re the reason why I get out of bed in the morning in addition to a million other things.
You’re the “waking up and realizing you still have hours to sleep” of food, The Beatles of sandwiches, you will be my first dance at my wedding, I wanted to be an astronaut but decided against it because long distance, I voted for you in the 2012 election, Beyoncé is jealous of the attention you get, sometimes instead of watching “Modern Family” I just stare at you for 30 min. I feel like it’s not a stretch to say that Bill Withers wrote “Lean On Me” about you.
What I’m trying to say is, on behalf of the world/universe, thank you for being you. Thank you for being delicious. Thank you for being everything food should be. In a world full of change, you remain a constant. I love you.