Latest Posts

$6400 Toilet Will Heat Your Rear and Play Music

The Numi’s lid opens automatically. Other features include a heated seat, a touchpad remote, ambient lighting, built-in speakers, an adjustable bidet with dryer, as well as a charcoal-filter deodorizer designed to annihilate any animal smells.

Mailman Poops In Portland Yard

As one reporter puts it, an Oregon mailman did “the unthinkable in broad daylight.” USPS supervisor Roy Anderson continues: “We’re taking this very seriously, and I really want to apologize to the public at large.”

The World’s Oldest Man Dies at 114

Yesterday, in Great Falls, Montana, Walter Bruening died of natural causes. At 114 years, he was the world’s oldest man. Since reading this news, I’ve become interested in Bruening’s life – tracking down interviews, videos, reports. Everyone who had contact with Bruening agrees that his words were wise.

Seven Birds and a Zebra

Each April – though spring can feel far – new birds fly daily into Brooklyn. Hundreds of species pass through NYC during their migration from South America to northern breeding grounds. A single bird will travel thousands of miles. So it seems an appropriate moment to honor birds.

Totally Blank Book Becomes International Bestseller

Sheridan Simove’s new book What Every Man Thinks About Apart From Sex took just nine days to conceive, write, design, self-publish, and ascend to #44 on’s bestsellers list. Writing was the easiest part. The book consists entirely of blank pages.

Cyndi Lauper Performs Spontaneously in Buenos Aires Airport

The first part of “Girls Just Want to Have Fun” appears in this video clip. At any moment ten smiles fill the screen. People sing along, or just shout, while others tell them to “Shhh!” The beaming woman in yellow even adds her own percussion by slapping an airport counter.

Michael Bloomberg on Picasso

At the Armory Show’s press conference, reporters kept attacking Bloomberg for his education cuts, on account of which almost 5,000 public school teachers (some of whom with seniority) will get laid off. Eventually Bloomberg said in desperation: “If anyone wants to talk about art, I’m happy to talk about art.”

Slop: An Audio Improvisation

Last month, the day following a blizzard, I took a 90-minute walk around Brooklyn during which every sentence I spoke contained the word “slop.” Here’s a 2-minute Mp3 of that walk called “Slop.”