I’ve been to a good share of weddings this year, if you count all the weddings I digitally “attended.” I’m a part-time wedding photography editor, and, as such, I spend a whopping amount of time sifting through photos taken by people I have not met of people I have also not met and probably will never meet. In order to make my editing hours more enjoyable, I decided to compile, in my favored list format, the things I have learned throughout the multitudes of weddings I have pseudo-attended.
1. Smile. Do not fear derp face — it will happen whether you are conscious of it or not. I can’t tell you how strange it is to be editing wedding photos where the wedding party, bride, and/or groom (grooms more often so than the brides) don’t smile. I understand the desire to look good in photos, but unless your smile parallels the ridiculousness of tying jellied bread onto the back of a cat, there really is no reason why you should not be smiling on your or your friends’ wedding day.
2. Sheer velvet rainbow-colored polka dot shirts are not acceptable. Ever. Please. This is a fashion trend (or not even trend) that needs to die. Clowns can’t even pull this off without scaring people, and with good reason.
3. Posture. Men AND women, I implore you to STAND UP STRAIGHT. Not only is it better for your back in the long run, it also looks ten times better in photos. What may feel like a natural comfortable posture at the moment turns up in photos as hunched shoulders and lowered neck and head. For the sake of your back (and your pictures) stand up straight.
4. Along the lines of polka dotted velvet shirts: this is a wedding. Not a club. Your friend’s nuptials is not the prime time to be breaking out that skin-tight, too-short, cut-out, “how the heck did you even get that on??” dress.
5. Please keep your clothes on. ‘Nuff said. If an abundance of alcohol has adverse effects on you, please refrain. I would claw my eyes out, but I need them.
6. Go dance! If there’s a dance floor, it’s time to break out and down your moves and groove. If not for your own entertainment, then for the newly wedded couple’s, who will get a kick out of looking at the photos of their reception party doing the worm.
7. In my opinion, taffeta is already a really tough fabric to photograph. It’s shiny. It reflects light. Having it in a really bright color = 2x the difficulties. So, FOR THE LOVE OF ALL OTHER SACRED THINGS PLEASE DO NOT DRESS YOUR BRIDESMAIDS IN NEON COLORED TAFFETA. JUST. PLEASE.
8. Lastly. It is not your wedding. Or is it? In any case, whoever’s wedding it is, let them be happy. Whatever their/your choices are, it is not anyone’s place to judge. Nor is it mine.
So, with that being said, these are just the opinions of an unassuming and unknown photo editor. If any of you want to go out and do or not do these things, please feel free to do or not do. Just know that perhaps, somehow, somewhere out there is another someone like me seeing and editing all of these photos of you and writing ambiguous posts about your decisions. All in good fun though, of course. Your choice.