We all have that friend we want to lock in a room alone, that friend that just… should be single for a long, long, long time. That friend who should just learn how to be alone.
Here are some 6 simple reasons you should be single – and enjoy it.
1. You are finding a soulmate.
I’ll just be the one to tell you – no one is going to save you. Save yourself, be your own hero. You don’t need a partner in crime. That’s how serial killers are caught! Please, stop expecting for that one person to come in and take away all your family trouble or feed your need for love.
There’s no one person that is going to understand you as well you understand yourself.
“I don’t even understand myself”
Well, there’s the answer, isn’t it? How can you let someone understand you, if you don’t understand yourself?
It sounds complicated, but it’s simple – go find yourself. Find something you like, find a hobby, stay at home, light candles, go out, be alone, go to the beach, have a picnic, kiss your mother – do something, don’t do anything!
Go find yourself, get to know yourself. Maybe then, letting someone in would make more sense. After all, how can you invite someone over if you don’t know your own address? (And please don’t say that person is your home – start by learning how to live on your own first before you move in with someone)
2. You don’t want to be lonely anymore.
There’s a lot of overlap here but ultimately, I am of belief that you can’t expect someone to want to be with you, if you cannot stand being with you.
You know what? As someone in a committed, loving relationship, I love being alone sometimes!
Having one person cannot cure loneliness. You’ll eventually feel lonely again. Learning to hang out with yourself can cure loneliness. For sure. Trust me, I’m… not a doctor.
Sometimes, I’ve learnt, loving to spend time on your own can be sexy. It’s a kind of confidence, I feel. See that girl in the café you always go to? Yes, she wants to be alone. No, she’s not waiting for anyone. Hell yes, she looks out of your league.
There’s a kind of power that comes from being alone, try it. Chin up (unless you have a book, then I wouldn’t recommend it – you’re not living in the 1800s honey.)
3. You are rebounding.
Side list: How to know you are rebounding
A. You know you are rebounding.
Don’t be silly. You know this, but here’s a reminder – no two people who are the same. And no two people are going to give you the same feelings. Stop trying to replace that one person; there’s a reason you didn’t work out.
Don’t go into another relationship trying to find someone so vastly different, it hurts. Learn. Learn what worked, learn what didn’t.
Don’t shy away from a girl who has a dog, just because your cheating ex had a dog! The dog is innocent! Think of it this way: I like math, so did Einstein. I guess we are practically the same person!
That said, don’t hold your ex on a pedestal. As I said, there’s a reason why you ended things. Don’t be selfish and use her as a yardstick for other people to match up to. Don’t be an asshole. Which leads me to my next point…
4. You are an asshole.
No one deserves you. I wouldn’t wish you on my worst enemy. Please fix yourself.
I had a friend who was quite a mean person, but used to charm girls he felt were pretty, while throwing insults to others. I don’t care if you are 5, or 50, you should not be cruel to people.
This is not how you show love. This is not how you be a decent human being.
Go for workshops, read a self-help book, go reflect on your horrible actions. Said friend did so, and now I consider him one of my closest friends and also, one of my most mature. So try it, maybe then waitresses will stop resisting spitting in your avocado pesto pasta without pasta, with extra pesto.
5. You are settling.
My boyfriend has this stupid phrase he likes: ‘Never Settle’. And yes, I mock him endlessly about it. But I agree.
I’d rather be single than be in a relationship that doesn’t make me happy.
I’d rather be single than be in a relationship that doesn’t make my heart soar, make me excited to dress up, make me feel safe just by staying under the sheets.
I’d rather be single than be with someone whose voice doesn’t make something at the pit of my stomach flutter, whose smile doesn’t make me feel the need to smile back, whose person makes me feel… enough.
Don’t settle. Never, ever settle. It’s not fair to you. It’s not fair to the other person. Please refer to reason 4, above.
6. You want to be single.
Come on. If you’re happy being alone, as in, happier than not, then just remain single! Being single is hella fun. Go out and be alone. Hang out with friends. Roll around in paint alone. Go for a date, on your own!
Ultimately, do what makes you happy. Look inside yourself. Don’t settle, don’t do it for someone else.