5 Ways Narcissism Can Improve Your Life

At The Art of Charm, we’re actually fans of narcissism. Not the type of psychopathic narcissism that we recently covered on our podcast; We’re talking about good, old-fashioned narcissism of the type that means you’re your biggest fan. The type of deep self-love that has haters telling you that you’re full of yourself and keeps people on your team smiling and appreciating along with you.

Here’s the thing, though: We don’t just want you being a narcissist for its own sake. In fact, we think there are a number of ways that narcissism can be healthy — can, in fact, help you to be a happier, more successful and self-realized person. Even if you decide not to overdose on narcissism, throwing a little bit of it into your mental and emotional diet can help you to start leveling up, bringing goals and objectives into view that you previously didn’t dare to dream. Not to mention, narcissism can be a great way to attract girls.

Here are five ways narcissism has helped me.

1. Narcissism Keeps You Looking Your Best

Narcissism isn’t just about gazing endlessly into the mirror. It’s also about recognizing hard truths that other people would rather ignore. Case in point: Appearance. Everyone knows that it matters, whether you’re out at the club, hunting for a new job or even trying to get the best deal on a used car you found through Craigslist. You’re always selling yourself and selling yourself is a lot easier when you look good — then you’ve got a product that sells itself.

Research supports the idea that looks count for a lot. In fact, a study conducted for the book Beauty Pays found that a good-looking man can make as much as 13 percent more than his more homely counterpart.

One place where people get confused is thinking that one size fits all here. I’m not going to sit here and tell you to look like a rock star when you’re a 9-to-5 banker. Similarly, if you’re like me — a guy playing in a Hollywood rock band — your look is going to be a lot more Nikki Sixx than Mitt Romney if you take my meaning.

Bottom line: Figure out what your “look” is. Then do everything that you can to perfect it. Pay attention to the small details. People notice stuff like that — especially women.

2. Narcissism Lets You Punch Above Your Weight Class and Attract Girls

When I see a girl at the end of the bar who’s I’m attracted to and interested in, I approach her right away. Why? Because if she’s out at a bar or a club, there’s a good chance she wants a guy to talk to her. What’s more, I honestly believe that there’s no one better at the club for her to talk to than me.

How could there be? I’m good looking. I’m intelligent. I’m interesting. I have a cool job. I play in a cool band. What more is there?

Does this work every time? Of course not. It does, however, work more than you might think, not least of all because it communicates confidence. The Date Report recently spoke to a Harvard professor and found out what The Art of Charm has been telling men for years now: Fewer things are a better way to attract girls than confidence.

It’s not our opinion — it’s science, and we’ve seen it in practice thousands of times. A good-looking man who’s staring at the ground and holding up the wall is going to pull fewer women than an outgoing guy who is partying and having a great time. Narcissism doesn’t just help you to have a higher success rate when you try to attract girls, it also has some of the most beautiful women in the room chasing after you.

What more benefit of narcissism do you need?

3. Narcissism Has You Trying New Things

We all know the guy who wants to try new things, but has tons of reasons why he “can’t.” Let me tell you a story about a friend of mine and fellow member of the Church of Narcissism:

His entire life, he’s always thought he was “bad at art.” From the days of cut and paste in elementary school, this guy just wasn’t much in the way of getting art projects done. Well, when he went off to college he was bored out of his mind and started doodling in the margins of his notebooks. Soon, he got a sketchbook.

Is he a great artist now? No. But he does do some killer drawings and has a great time doing it. Similarly, when I was a kid, I took off to North Carolina to pursue a music career. When I got there I had to get a job framing houses, something that people told me would be “impossible” for me to succeed at. I did a killer job and supported myself doing that until I became a bar manager, something else that I had never done that naysayers told me I could never do.

I didn’t listen. I just did. Why? Because I’m a narcissist. Because I honestly believe that deep down inside, I can do anything if I just set my mind to it. I believe the same of just about anyone. The difference between those who do, and those who dream, however, is the type of confidence of self that narcissism can provide.

4. Narcissism Can Help You Land Jobs

One piece of advice I always give my friends when looking for jobs: Let them turn you down.

Let’s go back to the jobs I talked about above. Did I get them because I was the most qualified applicant? Probably not. On the contrary, I got them because I selling a product that I honestly believe in: myself.
Ask any recruiter in the world about this: Once you get over the bare minimum of qualifications (which is generally lower than what they say they are), the job comes down to who makes the best impression. How do you make the best impression? Through honestly believing that your prospective employer would be a fool to hire anyone but you.

Because wouldn’t he be?

5. Narcissism Creates a Habit of Self-Perception

All told, if I were going to pick the biggest thing that I think narcissism will help you with, it would be self-perception. The dirty little secret of the healthy narcissist is that he’s his own harshest critic. Sure, we project confidence and self-love to those around us. We have both in spades.

However, the other side of that coin is that we’re hyperaware of our own shortcomings and failures. Narcissists are always making tiny tweaks to their own presentation and habits, looking for ways to take it to the next level. Whatever we do is never good enough, because we can always do it better.

This is a killer habit to have, because it gives you the drive and discipline to master whatever it is that you’re trying to at the time. This habit is the habit that can put all other habits within your grasp. It can be a dangerous mistress, one that can consume you. However, if you control it (like any good narcissist should), you’ll be a force to be reckoned with in everything that you do.

It might sound a little maddening, and it can be at times, but we wouldn’t have it any other way. TC mark

featured image – Shutterstock

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