5. Your cock is not a weapon.
If you try to use it like a weapon with stab stabby in/out motions then you’re doing it wrong. Sex is way more about massaging with your cock than it is in/out penetration. Yes, in/out penetration is present but even that should be viewed as massage or pressure or friction. Do not think about “imma balls deep, holla” or what the fuck ever. That shit is stupid most of the time, especially when you don’t really know what response you’re going to get. The majority of what you do should be based on massage, pressure, friction. Sex is coaxing to orgasm, not forcing to orgasm. Below are three ways of fucking that have been universally well received in my direct experience in long term relationships. Your mileage may vary.
- I like the grinding style and my lady does too. It allows you to do a lot of other things with your bodies, kissing, caressing, etc that you can’t do in positions like doggstyle and you can focus on the clitoris with your pelvis via your hips.
- If you raise your partner’s legs in missionary then two things will happen. Her vaginal canal will narrow and you can apply direct pressure to the G spot. I recommend a bit of in/out motion combined with up/down motion. This comes from your hips as does fucking which I can’t repeat enough. This is putting it together. This is also the position that I’ve heard people say “makes the pussy talk.” There’s a reason they say that. It often does.
- For A spot stimulation I recommend nudge fucking, so called because you’re not moving much at all. It’s more a matter of putting pressure on the A spot, pushing, letting off a bit, and pushing again with your cock rubbing against the top of the vaginal canal. If your pelvis is also grinding a bit against your partner’s clitoris then this is a good place to be.
I can’t speak to doggystyle, seriously. I’ve been told by my girlfriend that I’m good at this but I honestly have no idea what I’m doing most of the time. She sometimes orgasms this way and I have no idea why. Sorry!
6. A final word.
Cut out masturbating to porn if it’s something you do often. I’m not coming at this from a moral standpoint at all because it has its time and place but porn is not helpful to young men trying to get their game together for the most part. I know the new thing for a lot of people is “porn is good” but it’s not. It’s not necessarily bad either but this isn’t about good or bad. It’s about what’s useful to you in your life as a sexual human being.
What you should be focusing on is being present in the moment during sex and getting into it with your partner. If you’re replaying anal and cumshots in your head the whole time then, ugh, just fucking stop it. You don’t need another person for that sort of display and the point of sex is doing something great with another person. If you and your partner want to do all that stuff later then great but don’t impose an unrealistic vision of sex onto the actual act of sex. That’s just asking for disappointment, hurt feelings (her), confusion (you), and a whole lot of wasted time.
Dick size, some have smaller ones and some have bigger ones. Work with what you’ve got and remember that fucking comes from your whole body, not just your cock. You are not merely a body with a phallus attached. You are a whole and living and breathing man. Make sure it’s the man that’s having sex. Bring all of you to the stage and you will be rewarded and so will she.