There’s an old saying…
“If you run into an asshole in the morning, you ran into an asshole. If you run into assholes all day, you’re the asshole.”
I keep hearing similar complaints on the dating front: all the singles suck in your city. (The same way 9th graders swear the grade ahead of them was so much hotter than theirs) And it feels like, every year, I hear that singles suck more often than the last.
I would never say dating is easy and I’d never say it’s easy to find someone to date. But to say there are no options in your city is a cop-out. It is. There are countless people you haven’t met yet. Yes, you might have met all the options in your social circle. That just tells you it’s time to break out of your circle.
When I went to Syracuse, it felt like I knew everybody (the same way many of you felt at your schools). Years later, some of my closets friends went to Syracuse at the same time I did and we didn’t meet til after college.
So this blanket statement that every single in your city has a case of asshole-itis is selling yourself (and your chances of finding love) short. I’ve dated in 2 cities as an adult and yes, I’ve had plenty of shit dates. But I’ve also met far more amazing ladies, even though they might not have been a fit for me.
There are quality singles in your city. I promise you. Yes, it sucks you haven’t met them yet, and it sucks you’ve met countless hairy toads in your quest. But if you keep putting in the effort, you will.
And I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but if you’re convinced everyone’s an asshole that you’ve gone out with, it’s time to look in the mirror. Cause the asshole might be you.
Just cause your date isn’t for you doesn’t mean they’re an asshole. It does mean they’re not a match. And if they truly are all assholes, then it’s time to ask yourself two questions:
- What kind of vibe are you putting out there?
- Where are you spending your time to end up with these winners?
We can all get salty, I get it. At times I feel like my middle name is NaCl. But saltiness aside, I love meeting people. And I love making friends wherever I go. I’m far from perfect and I too can catch a case of the negativity bug.
But if you live in a city, keep it at and step out of your social circle. And if you’re convinced that every single out there sucks, it’s time to address your attitude. The problem might lie with you.