Why Look For ‘The One’ When You Can Find ‘The Many’

Shutterstock / Aleshyn_Andrei
Shutterstock / Aleshyn_Andrei

Some couples brag they found “The One.” Me, I don’t buy it. Do I believe, out of all the potential matches they met in their life, their “one” is the best fit? Absolutely.

But I don’t believe there’s only one person on Earth for us. Yes, one person preordained to complete us sounds as romantic as a ukulele in Hawaii. But if you want to talk numbers, it sounds pretty depressing.

There are seven billion people on this planet. If there’s only “One” for us, our odds suck. Very badly.

It’s ironic: many of us shit on math in school. We claimed we’d never use it. But we use math every day, especially when it comes to dating. We’re constantly playing the odds. We’re always crunching our hours in the day and deciding how to spend them (and with who).

Math is the most useful dating skill I ever learned. (Outside of my 8th grade typing class) So using math, if there’s only “One,” we have a better chance of winning the Lottery, getting struck by lightning and sleeping with an ESPN sideline reporter. In the same day.

Instead of trying to find “The One,” try to find one you can build a life with.   And there are many options. No one will be a perfect match. But then again, no one’s perfect.   And no one will have everything you’re looking for. (Just ask my wife)

So for the sake of your future happiness, and the sanity of your friends and therapist, who will tire of your kvetching, get over it.

Now, there are important qualities in a partner that you shouldn’t compromise on. Kindness to honesty, funny to hard working, all a good start. But for those wishful, less-likely-to-happen qualities, from his private jet to her unusually large yams, get over it.

The odds of checking every box are miniscule. And sticking to them is the perfect recipe for spending life solo. (If you don’t count cats)

Heed Reckless Eric:

There’s only one girl in the world for you. She probably lives in Tahiti.

Reckless was right. The concept of searching the Whole Wild World to find “The One” sounds sexy.

But for most of us, a job, friends and having a life get in the way. Which, in our quest to find “The Many,” is a good thing. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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