As a writer of poetry, I often think in analogies – observing how one thing is similar to another. This is how one day I drew a mental connection between the blood circulatory system in the human body, and communication in a healthy relationship. Let me sketch it out for you, and I think you’ll see what I mean
The bloodstream is vital to the health of the body for a number of reasons:
- It carries oxygen and nutrients throughout the body.
- It helps remove carbon dioxide and other waste products.
- It is a vital to the immune system – allowing white blood cells to fight infections and foreign invaders.
When the circulatory system isn’t working right, the body is at risk. In severe cases, tissue dies, and limbs may need to be amputated. If your heart stops pumping blood through your body for very long, you will die.
As I’ve been listing these things, no doubt you’re a step ahead of me, seeing where I’m going with this.
Strangely though, so many couples seem to have a very poor grasp on how to communicate in positive, healthy ways. Perhaps they only saw negative communication modeled when they were growing up. Maybe they’ve never really given communication much thought, let alone looked at it as an essentially important part of their relationship. Whatever the reason, they are in default mode, and not living intentionally in this aspect of their life.
The saddest thing is when I have observed people dumping toxins into the bloodstream of their relationship. They may not realize it, but they are using what should be a healing mechanism, to poison their love for each other. It makes me want to grab them and say, “People, life is tough enough already! The home should be a place of refuge and healing from the stresses of the day, not an environment that makes you sicker.”
Briefly, let’s see how the love circulatory system should function:
1. Our words should carry nutrients and health to our lover.
Be a breath of fresh air. Uplift, encourage, and appreciate. Let them know you admire, are intrigued by, and passionately desire them. Be sensitive to ways in which the world has beaten them down, and use your words to give them the vital support they need.
2. Use communication to clear the junk out.
Every relationship will have conflicts, misunderstandings, and hurts because each person has their own perspective, shaped by their life experiences. Difficulties will arise, but communication is the method for dealing with them. Silently storing up grievances merely accumulates lethal toxins which can slowly poison the relationship. You have to talk things out. It’s the only way to keep things healthy, and to release negative junk.
Respectful, loving communication is the key to everything.
Toxic communication seeks to hurt the other person and increase the distance between the two of you. Healthy communication respectfully seeks to understand. Its goal is always to narrow the distance between your hearts; restoring healthy intimacy.
3. Great communication means your relationship has a strong immune system.
It deals with problems as they arise. When one of you senses something is wrong, a time of healing communication should focus on the problem area, just like white blood cells congregate where there is an infection. Keep lovingly working on it until there is healing happens. This may take time.
Want to affair-proof your relationship? Open, honest, and loving communication will help keep away the threat of “foreign invaders.” If issues are being dealt with on a regular basis, there is much less of a chance of dissatisfaction building up and leading one of you to look elsewhere for intimacy or fulfillment.
There is one other effect the bloodstream has, which is relevant; it circulates heat throughout the body. Want to keep the fire alive in your love life? Become a great communicator. Create a safe, respectful atmosphere in which your lover can share their heart. Set the example by opening up your own heart. Look at communication as a skill every bit as essential as any bedroom technique, and watch the flames of passion rise.