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A Letter To My Future Fiancée

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William Recinos

Hi, love. I know that by then, we would have known each other for quite some time already and we should have at least dated for a couple of years too. My apologies for proposing the way that I did. I mean, I have no idea what I had planned for you, but I’m 100% sure that it was at the very least thoughtful and very well planned. I hope that you liked it, because I’m sure I had a good time planning it and seeing it come to life. I would not put in that much effort into something if I didn’t love you so much.

Right now, I’m writing this to you as a 22 year old in first year medical school. To be honest, I do not know when, where, or how I will know who you are. The thought of us just seems so far away from where I am now. I do not even know if you really exist. I do not know whether I do end up with someone or not. Recently, I have really entertained the fact that I may never meet you, especially with how medical school looks right now. I am not completely dismissing the chance of us ever happening, but it has certainly crossed my mind that I may never get married and my career will be my life.

I’m sorry for being so negative. My last (and only) relationship did not end very well, so I have begun to look at a different side of me. Despite this, I still want to remain highly optimistic that I will meet you one day and realize that you are the one for me. I am and will continue to be a firm believer in, as the TV series How I met Your Mother (God, I hope that you love that show too) refers to as “the One.”

One important thing that I do have to keep in mind when thinking of the idea of you is that we have to remain patient. I will be sitting, waiting, and wishing for you.

Right now, I do not know where you are in life, but hopefully when we do get together, you will be at that stage of your life where you are ready to settle down as well. I’m sure that I will be ready, but I want to make sure that you are too. For me, it is the only way that we can work and become who we want to become as a couple. It is one of the most important factors to a successful relationship. I do not want to be that boyfriend or husband that holds you back from reaching your full potential. I want you to be the best that you can be, even before we even think about getting married. If I am lucky enough, I want to be able to help your reach your dreams and aspirations. Do not worry about me. I would have hopefully reached mine as well, but that is up to me.

How do I know that you are the one for me? Actually, even I cannot give you the answer to that. One thing is for sure, I trust that my future self will be sure that you are the one. I do not do anything with half a mind. When I propose to you, I will be sure that you are the one for me, the one I want to marry, the one I want to have kids and grandkids with, and the one I want to spend the rest of my life with.

When I commit myself, I will commit wholeheartedly. There will be no doubts. There will be no second thoughts. You are the one I love and you will be the only one I love. Well, aside from our kids and grandkids (hopefully).

I have always been the type to take care of people. Whether they are family, friends, and (maybe) future patients, I will always do my best to make sure that they are okay. You, on the other hand, are a different story. Not only will I go out of my own way to make sure that you are okay, but I will also shower you with love and affection, things that no one else I know will ever get from me. I am not sure what will make my love and affection for you special yet, but I am sure that I will find a way to make it unique and extra special for you. I love long road trips to random places like the beach, the mountains, or some province that I’ve never been to. I enjoy the drive and the breath of fresh air, even more so if I were with the right person. I love spending time with family and friends, so expect regular trips to my parents or yours.

I have a history of anger. I can fully admit and acknowledge that. It will always be part of my biggest flaws as a person. By the time we get together, I would have probably already told you all there is to know about that part of me, and I really do hope that you can accept it and look past it. Hopefully by then, that part of me will be long gone, locked away in the past where it should be. I never want to relive that part of my life ever again, but it will always be important to keep it in mind. Just please be patient with me, because I will try my very best to prevent my ghosts from coming back.

Also, I am going to admit to you now (if you had not already noticed) that I will be very dependent on you to pick me up when I am down. I may be happy most of the time, which may sometimes be too much at some point. There are those days, and then there will be days where I just hit absolute rock bottom. When something bad happens, it will affect me more than it should. Again, please be patient with me.

At the end of the day, all I really need is a good hug from you and a few good words. It may happen a lot, so do not give up on me too easily. A little love is all I really need to get me through the rock bottoms.

I know that you have your own ghosts too and I am very sorry if I fail to acknowledge them sometimes. Please remind me when I forget, because I want to be able to help you get over them as well. Life is too short to take on problems by yourself, so I hope that you let me help you

It has always been a dream of mine to start a family of my own and probably have three or four kids. I really hope that you want the same too. I have always wanted a close family, because mine own is not. Sunday will (hopefully) be family day, and that includes your parents or mine, siblings, cousins, etc. I want to keep good relationships between them because at the end of the day, they will always be the ones who are there for you and they should matter. I want our kids to be close to each other. I want them to be close to their cousins, to their aunts and uncles, and maybe eventually they will carry this over to their own loving families.

To be honest, I do not care where we live, as long as we live in a place where we can easily visit our parents or where they are comfortable living. Work will not be a problem, because I am sure that our careers will make it easy for us to find work wherever we are. What is important to me is that we are able to take care of our parents, because by that time, it is our turn to take care of them. I love them too much too live too far away from them, especially my mother. I love my mother to death, and I would do anything to be by her side every waking moment.

Well, that’s all I can say right now. It’s March of 2017. There is so much more I wish I could say to you, but we both know that that’s not really possibly right now. You are on your way to me and I am on my way to you. Love is a funny thing. It happens to people earlier that it does others, but each one unique in its own way.

As much as I would want it to happen to me as soon as possible, I want to make sure that the timing is right and we are both ready. Let us take our time and let the universe take its course. I’ll see you when I see you, love. TC mark

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