How To Know If It’s Time To Give Up On Him

Priscilla Du Preez

If you are genuinely in two minds as to whether you should give up on a guy or not and not sure what to do, it’s important to understand the psychology of what is going on in your mind right now in order to make the right decision.

Being in two minds almost always means just that – being in two minds. The two minds being:

  1. Your conscious mind
  2. And your subconscious mind

Right now your conscious mind might be giving you good reasons to leave him, but there is something in your subconscious that is causing you to want to stay. The opposite might also be the case. Right now your conscious mind could be telling you to stay with him, but there is something in your subconscious that is causing you to want to leave.

The problem though is that the reasons your subconscious mind has for wanting to do something (whether it is to either leave or stay) are almost always hidden on your subconscious. Therefore, you won’t know what they are. You will simply have a gut feeling you should do something (either leave or stay) but not know why.

So what should you do?

Your first step is to uncover the reasons why your subconscious mind is making you feel the way you feel about this guy. This way you will be able to objectively analyse all the information surrounding whether you should stay or go.

Without finding out why your subconscious is making you feel a particular way about this guy, you will only ever be depending on blind luck in making the correct decision on what you should do. Let’s look at what your subconscious might be trying to communicate to you right now:

1. This Guy Doesn’t Like You/Does Like You: Our subconscious mind can pick up on cues that someone likes us or doesn’t like us. And these cues are often not obvious to our conscious mind. In my article How To Know If Someone Is Thinking About You I showed how if someone likes you, they will subconsciously mirror your body language. Your subconscious may have picked up on hints like this that this guy likes you. Your subconscious may also have picked up on hints he doesn’t like you. And all this might not be obvious to your conscious mind right now. Check out that article to see signs he is thinking about you and thus likes you.

2. He Likes You But Is Scared: Your subconscious may have picked up that this guy is scared to fall in love with you and you have misinterpreted this as him not liking you. You will have seen some signs he likes you but other signs he does not. If this is the case, you should dig a bit deeper as he may very well want to be with you but something is making him scared to fall in love with you for one reason or another. In my article How To Make Someone Fall In Love Who Is Scared To Fall In Love I show how a guys subconscious can make him scared of falling for you and how to indirectly program his subconscious in the opposite way. For example, his subconscious may have picked up on some element of your behavior, personality or background which it feels would not be good for the guy to have in his life. This may have been something as simple as something he saw on your Facebook page. Once you know what this is, you can easily remove this roadblock from his subconscious mind freeing him up to falling in love with you.

3. He Is A Bad Match For You: In my article How To Recognize Your Soulmate I  show how our subconscious mind has a type of radar that evaluates people in our life to see if they would make for a good life partner or soulmate. We subconsciously examine things such as if we have complimentary traits with the person and if their values and beliefs etc. match ours. It may be the case that while you may consciously like some things about this guy (such as his looks for example) your subconscious radar has picked up on something in this guy which it knows would be bad for you. This may be eating away at you making you wonder if you should give up on him or not. Check out that article to see ways your subconscious mind works in evaluating if someone is soulmate material or not.

4. You Have Unresolved Personal Issues: If right now you have unresolved issues in your life such as you are lonely, you still haven’t got over an old ex, or you want to make an ex jealous …these can cause you to want to stay with your current guy even if he is not a good match for you. Staying with a guy for reasons like these is a recipe for disaster. Right now you need to evaluate if there are any personal issues that are making you want to be with this guy other than you genuinely liking him. The easy way to evaluate this is to ask yourself – Would I be happy to be single? If you could happily live being single for the next 6 months or year, then this means you are not simply in a relationship with this current guy in order to wall-paper over issues in your life you haven’t yet dealt with. If you do find you have issues, you should deal with these directly rather than depending on using a guy to cover over them.

So, should you give up on him?

If you now realize he is not a good match for you or you only want him in your life to cover over unresolved issues you haven’t dealt with, you seriously need to consider letting this guy go. Letting him go now could be the best thing in the long run rather than staying in a relationship with him that ultimately will go nowhere. Check out my book “THE ERASE CODE: How To Get Over Anyone In Less Than A Week Using Psychology” to learn how to get over someone using psychological tactics and methods designed to re-wire your mind back to the stage you were in before you met him.

On the contrary, if you now realize he may not like you yet or is simply scared to fall in love with you and this is the only reason why you are considering giving up on him, then hold your horses. Do NOT give up on him. There are specific methods you can use on someone to make them fall in love with you even if they are not currently responding to your advances. Check out my book “THE LOVEMAP CODE: How To Make Someone Fall In Love With You Using Psychology” for more information on how to program a guys mind into becoming emotionally attached to you and making him fall in love.   Thought Catalog Logo Mark

John Alex Clark is a Relationship & Life Coach. He is the founder of the website Relationship Psychology.

Keep up with John Alex on Twitter and Website

More From Thought Catalog