Marital problems can stem from a number of different areas in a relationship that are completely independent of love. Sometimes their root cause is hidden. And when they are, a couple can find themselves arguing just for the sake of arguing over things such as:
- The coffee is too cold
- You spent too much on that dress
- You left the toilet seat up
These are all things that can lead to an argument. However they only lead to an argument if something else in the relationship is out of place. I’d like to go through four of the more common marital problems and how each can affect your marriage even if you both know that a lack of love is not the issue.
Problems Areas Independent Of The Level Of Love
- Family interference: Conflict with in-laws can add a significant amount of stress to any relationship. If you can’t get along at all with your partner relations, you need to explain this to your partner and let them know how you feel. Try not to make accusations about your in-laws or blame things on them. Rather just explain that you don’t get a long with them and try and come to some kind of arrangement with your spouse when visiting in laws or having them over.
- Poor communication: Poor communication is often touted as the leading cause of marital problems. Poor communication not only causes marital problems, but also hinders a couple from dealing effectively with marital problems. If you’re having difficulty expressing your feelings or inner thoughts to one another it may be because you don’t have enough time in the day to just sit down and talk with one another.Try and set aside 20 minutes each night where you can both just sit down and talk together. Make sure the TV is off and the kids are put to bed. It may seem uncomfortable at first, but doing this will force a re-opening of the communication lines that may have been closed up in your relationship.
- Work: Work can create maritval problems in a number of different ways. If one spouse has to work long hours, the other can feel neglected and begin to wonder what’s in this relationship for them. Work also creates marital problems if a spouse lets difficulties and stress at work interfere with their marriage. If you recognize the ways in which work are affecting your marriage, discuss it with your spouse. Discussing things like this will bring the problems out into the open and allow you both to work on finding a solution.
- Financial problems: Financial problems are one of the biggest causes of stress. And consequently, if there are money worries in your marriage, the stress will rub off on each other and how you communicate. While you can’t always control how much money is coming in, you can control the way you communicate to one another about the stress it’s causing. Openly talking about the stress to your partner and acknowledging the impact it’s having on your lives, is often enough to divert it’s damaging effects from your relationship.
If both you and your partner are in love – know that while this is a big plus, it doesn’t automatically guarantee a smooth ride. Take note of which of the above problem areas are affecting your relationship and work towards mending that area.