Affairs with married women are never a good idea. There is a morality issue in having affairs with married women but even if this doesn’t bother you, you should know that it time taking part in such a thing will damage your self image and confidence.
Sex with married women can seem exciting, dramatic and more intense than with someone that’s single. However with what appears to be an upside there is an equal and opposite down side – damage to your self worth.
Married women who have affairs have the affair for themselves – not because they think you are “the one”. You’re a means of escapism to them. And even if you believe you can’t be hurt and you’re just in it for the sex – your dignity will be chipped away at slowly, bit by bit.
The problem of affairs with married women is that you’re going to stay single all during the affair. You may act as though you’re a couple in the privacy of the hotel room but once you walk out on the street, you can’t act the same way. This may be ok in the beginning of the relationship but if you start becoming emotionally attached to her, this will hurt.
The number of “dates” reduce in time
In affairs with married women, you might see each other often in the beginning. However slowly, the excuses start to creep in:
- They’re visiting the in laws this weekend
- One of the children is sick and needs looking after
- They have to run an errand for their husband etc
And you’ll find yourself hanging around hoping she can make some time for you. The fact is, even if she has decided to stick with her husband she may still give you the impression she’s not interested in him so that you’ll stick around in the sideline for her as her comfort blanket.
Even if you are of the opinion that the relationship between you both is special and she’d never lie like this to you, the fact remains that she’s lying to her spouse, so she’s not going to have much trouble in lying to you.
The fact is that in affairs with married women, you’re dealing with a cheater…and cheaters are liars. You might make excuses for her like her marriage was a big mistake and she should be with you, but the fact is you’re just her means of escapism – nothing more. Both you and her are lying so as to avoid this reality.
Your social life
If you’ve told friends that you’re seeing a married woman, they’re not likely to think much of you for it. In the unlikely event that they give you support, you can be sure it’s only on a superficial level and that they’ll be thinking and talking ill of you behind your back.
If however, you’re like most men who have affairs with married women, you probably haven’t openly told your friends about it. This is ok? You might be thinking. Unfortunately it isn’t, the problem is that such men often find themselves becoming withdrawn from their friends and social circle because they can’t talk about their other life to them and show off their girlfriend.
The responsibilities of an affair with a married woman
The fact is she’s almost certainly never going to want to leave the stability of a marriage (albeit a dissatisfying one) for you. In the event, they did leave their husband for you; I assure you, you wouldn’t want this responsibility around your neck.
Anytime things wouldn’t be going perfect between you both, you’d essentially be silently held accountable for the way things are.
In addition, if they ever get a fleeting moment of looking back longingly at their former marriage, they’d secretly resent you for making them leave.
While affairs with married women can seem exciting and dangerous, these upsides will in time be replaced with equally opposite downsides. Ones you’ll wish you hadn’t brought on yourself.