You Have To Embrace The ‘What Is’

Shutterstock / Sergey Furtaev
Shutterstock / Sergey Furtaev

It’s brave to ask “what if?”, but it’s braver to embrace “what is.”

I just came home from a family movie date. Anyway, my mom doesn’t usually come with us (she says she gets headache in the cinema house or that she has a lot to do at home, and so on and so forth of reasons like that) but because of this particular movie, from which I got the quotation above, she volunteered to join us. A rare opportunity it offered, we watched the movie in its first public showing date.

So this film I am talking about is a sequel to a blockbuster movie in 2008. The two movies centered on the development of the relationship between two college sweethearts. They fell in love then fell apart then got back together. They got married but even their marriage did not go smoothly in the middle then things fell into their proper places eventually. I’d say it’s a fictional representation of the usual reality.

One important element of the movie, I guess, or the two movies, are the lines the characters delivered. The writers were really good at choosing the right words, the words that strike straight to the heart then linger in the mind. One of these lines was the one I borrowed to start and to make the most of this article. The line, “It’s brave to ask “what if?”, but it’s braver to embrace ‘what is,’” had me thinking not only in regard relationships. The statement, if we’d further consider it, is applicable to life, in general.

I often read pieces of advice, particularly to the youth, saying if a situation doesn’t work out anymore, then move out. Many would say if something no longer serves you well, if it’s not bringing happiness and fun, if it’s hard to deal with anymore, then leave and find something else. For instance, if a relationship is not going well anymore, then leave. We would then explore and board on different adventures to seek answers for our “what ifs,” leaving our problematic “what is.” Perhaps, this is a good attitude. It is good to search for an alternative. It is okay to choose to be happy. It is fine to wonder “what if?” However, I guess those telling people these things have left out one element in their advice: ask your “what ifs?,” try answering these “what ifs,” but only when you’ve figured out the situation at hand, only after you’ve had a resolution with your “what is.”

We can’t go on living our lives always leaving our problems. If we want to move out, then let’s face first the issues we have now. Otherwise, we will get used to that cycle of starting things and leaving them hanging. For one, for the students, we cannot just give up on our studies easily and expect an easier life without having to face it. We cannot just keep on changing our courses or our career paths without sufficient reason. We shall always remember that “something else” doesn’t always mean “something better.” Besides, perhaps the situation is not the real problem, but us, the way we see it, the way we handle it. I, myself, is one of the people who want to just leave when things are not okay. I’ve tried that approach for several times. I have gone elsewhere, thinking it would make me feel better. Perhaps, it did, but only for a while. The thing is if we cannot embrace all the things, the lovely and the ugly, that today offers us, what makes us think we can hold the future well?

I guess I have already made my point so let me just end this article the way I started it.

It’s brave to ask “what if?”, but it’s braver to embrace “what is.” Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Related

More From Thought Catalog